Calcium and Lactose

There is nothing more grim than the prospects of returning back to the routine of classes and lectures after a short yet sorta-fulfilling holiday period. And me and some friends set out for a sorta delusional final escape to rejuvenate ourselves in view of the inevitable Monday.

Sure is a wonderful-tasting milk at a wonderful price.

I do! I do! Totally revived my love for dairy! Hehe

My BBQ Chicken Sandwich (appears to be Gardenia bread huh?), Iced Mocha and fanciful company.

I love this deer at our table.

A homemade national flag. How patriotic huh.

The gallery on the wall.

Fact? or faux pas?

Playing naughty scrabble!

Born A Superhero

Wow!

Wisteria Lane

I might as well, move into the neighbourhood with likes of Susan, Bree and Lynette.

My househusband instincts are going on hyperdrive.

Oh well, at least I am not desperate.

Odd Things Happen to Me

Right now, I am in this CC with the guy next to me blasting (like really loudly) MVs of Paris Hilton, Celine Dion and M2M ... I am like dumbfounded.

So why am I here?

As fate would have it, I was woken up at 8am by my highschool friends (those who are in town) to go for a dimsum breakfast (yeah the old ritual where we used to skip morning assemblies and sneak back into classes) and then...

I was dragged to this CC (very clean, smoke-free, reasonable rates) to play Command & Conquer: Red Alert! Maklumlah, I am not very good at this RPGs. But I entertain diorang jer la.

Yes, at this very early hour!

Okay... got more funny things befallen my path okeh?

One fateful morning I was following the Surgeon (my idol no. 2) doing ward rounds in the wee hours and a nurse (she must be really blurred from the midnight shift)... asked me, "Are you a new doctor here? How should I call you, doc?"

I am like, "Err... I am still a student" to which she commented, "Eh you look like the Surgeon la, brothers ah?"

Hmm... So weird!

Then while I was on OBGYN posting (Obstetrics and Gynaecology), I saw a lot of really gross things growing out of you-know-where. Which will leave me traumatised for some time to come.

Okay, but the main point is... on one occasion, I was dressed all ready to the nines for the OT (scrubs, cap and mask) and I was listening to the yakking specialist I was following, when suddenly I was groped in the butt, quite roughly.

OUCH!

Then, the perpetrator spoke, "Eh Oops! Wrong person I thought you were (insert name of the Surgeon, my idol No.2)! Sorry ah"

He was the urologist.

I have also patients who commented about me to their grandchildren who happen to be my classmates.

Gosh, imagine what kinda things surgeons do to each other in the vicinity of the Operation Theatre huh? Lucky anaesthetists would enjoy the freeflow of cold air and barely clothed surgeons prodding in and out?

Nasty!

End note: The Procedure for Prolapse and Haemorrhoidectomy (PPH) will leave anyone with a distaste for intimacy and playing with guns and staplers. =S

Recently

Home is where the heart is, huh?

Well, I am technically in my hometown, doing some elective posting with my family's favourite physician.

Imagine Grey's Anatomy.

Where Izzie, Cristina, Meredith, Alex run around Addison, McDreamy, McSteamy (drools!) and Bailey the Nazi. (true up to Season 3). Where the young ones are being tortured, or subjected to whatever 'training' the seniors deem fit. Ah the inevitable unkind words and sinister laughter when someone falters.

Except this is a 10-hour long stint daily. Not a 45-minute episode per week!

"You're supposed to know this! Why don't you know this?" "Pay close attention!" "No, you cannot see this!" "You are not colourblind, assess correctly!" "If you don't know this, you will FAIL!"


And like, WHO ELSE IN THE WHOLE WIDE EARTH HAS DO TO HOMEWORK WHEN THEY ARE ON ELECTIVE?????

Nobody, but me. Yes people. I have to go home and study and complete assignments to present to my external supervisor =(

Even after long long days, sometimes with no lunch break.

But all's well.

I am grumbling here. But OMG I am learning so much, seen/touched/heard/percussed a lot of the pathological manifestations ONLY seen/described in theory.

Also, it does not hurt when I am acknowledged for answering questions correctly.

I can see worse things coming in the later years so I guess this is preparation for the onslaught? To be fair, the doctors I am following are very passionate about their jobs and naturally have higher expectations. Okay, not all. But mostly they are very inspiring and motivating lor.

In them, I see hope for the country! [Like the recent tides of change in politics la...]

Especially my supervisor. OMG his philosophical talks are so uplifting and encouraging. Like he is a celestial being-incarnate or something like that. Like HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO NEUTRAL AND NICE?

I wanna be like him. He is my Superhero!

In summary, my routine (6 days/week) goes like this:

Wake up, Surgery/Imaging, Lunch [sometimes unavailable], Clinic Hours, (Gym [whenever I am not lazy, and that's very often]), Home, HOMEWORK, Call the BF, SLEEEEEPPP.

Press *repeat*.

One word: NO LIFE!

Naked people, cleaning poo, examining newborn babies, boobies, vaginas [I have seen more in a week than most straight guys would dream of, in a lifetime! And this involves sticking long, slim sticks into them], touching patients at various parts of their bodies, gasping at fountains of blood [SOOOOO MUCH BLOOOD!|!!! Good thing I am not into the vampire cult], received the arrival of new life into the world, listening to yelling angry patients, neurotic hypochondriacs, collapsing patients et cetera.

Also, watching floating faeces on video! And AMITRYPTYLLINE - the magic pill!

One question: WHY zero HOT GUY PATIENTS????? Whyyyy??? =(

All in all, an overwhelming holistic experience!


*But, but, but... my heart is longing for somewhere else. ;P



Ad Errata: If there's any mistakes in any form, I apologise. I am freeloading off the paediatrician's comp while she's away.