The majestic peak... from the base registration centre! Whoa...Just jumping onto the bandwagon hype of blogging. Plus, I need a place where I can exercise my writing muscle. Time required to overhaul this. Brain inactivity is fatal.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
A little late
Tercipta Untukku -UNGU
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
The Holiday (s) - Part 1
In an idyllic island, not so far off the East Coast of the peninsular... Any guesses?
Monday, July 02, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
One Last Chance
I've lost my way can't go back anymore
Once I had everything now it's gone
Don't tell me again coz I've heard it all before
Some people say that i'm not worth it
I've made mistakes but nobody's perfect
Guess I'll give it a try
I've got one last chance to get myself together
I can't lose no more time it's now or never and I'll try to remember who i used to be
I've got one last chance to get myself together
The time has come for me to change again
I can't carry on like this, I will lose my friends - don't say that you have given up on me.
Just give me the time and space to heal my head
I don't wanna be misunderstood
I've got to take this chance and make it into something good
This song by James Morrison aptly describes what I feel right now. Public, International and IQ Examinations... I have done and survived them all. Knowing myself, I am a last-minute rummaging expert...
But Med School Finals is an EXPERIENCE... where life just get sucked away.
Body systems go haywire. Hormones flare. Friends disappear to mug all day long. You get shushed for gossiping, hence disrupting the silence of the holy library. No SEX!!! Short-term memory is limited to the prior 30 seconds [I showered and exited the bathroom without remembering whether I have soaped myself]
Let this all be worth it.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
One Hour
What measure of time is enough to be life-altering?
Is it the 5 years in secondary school? Perhaps 1 year of missionary expedition across the African continent? 1 week with your favourite hunky star?
Can your life change in a month? A week? Or a single day?
We are always in a hurry. To grow up. To go places. To get ahead.
But when you’re young, one hour might just change everything.
LABELS. Haven’t we all gone through the phase in teenage life where everyone around us, including ourselves, were fitted to certain ‘names’? Be it ‘The Jock’ or ‘The Prom Queen’. Some may be called ‘Geeks’ while self-isolating ones are usually considered ‘Loners’.
I, for one, was one of the “Friendly” bunch… if you get my drift. LoL
Whether we like it or not, our image usually conforms to what people around us, thinks and expects of us. But when we leave this stage, these people (e.g. high school), we can erase all those labels and start over. For some of us, shedding this image might be a great change. Au contraire to the others.
About 4 years ago, I was randomly paired up with this ‘ostracised’ guy in my Civics class. It was the teacher’s bright idea to break the borders between ‘invisible cliques’ within the class. We were supposed to spend one hour together, anywhere within the school compound, and learn more about each other; with a list of questions. It surely changed my perceptions on people. I still remember the day so vividly.
Aaron... *hmmm*
Aaron (that guy’s name) was a really quiet and almost non-existent member of the class. He hardly spoke to anyone. And he usually skips lessons to play basketball. Teachers sighed when they heard his name. Nobody bothered if he was present or not. Nobody knows anything else about him. And we were in the same class for about 3 years.
I never cared about him. He definitely was not part of the gang I was in. All that mattered to our group were the 3P’s (Popularity, Power, Presence). We were the typical stuck-up jock-ish guys, I guess. We made the prefects’ lives horrible. While we behaved as ‘goody-two-shoes’ around the teachers. We ruled the place. Aaron was too ‘insignificant’ (for the lack of a better word) to be noticed. In short, he was a “Loser”.
"The Popular Boys"
Imagine my dread when I had to be ‘acquainted’ with him. Well, he wasn’t too happy about it either.
To be honest, we started off the assignment being rather hostile to each other. *LoL* a lot of name-calling on his part (you don’t wanna know what he called me!) and I was just being very princessy. But we had to finish the tasks hence we did. And it improved as time went by. One question led to another (on the tasklist) and it really opened up our inner self to a ‘stranger’ respectively. He even said I was pretty good company ok? I found out that we liked the same ice-cream (green tea) and loved Power Rangers among other things. We even shared family issues and dreams. (everyone thought he would end up being a communist!) Gosh, at the end of it, I was having more intellectual conversations with it than I ever had with my closest friends in months.
I spent an hour with Aaron that day and I learnt something. People ARE going to label you. It’s how you overcome those labels that matters most.
People thought they knew Aaron. I know I did. But I discovered something new that day. He was more than a single word. In a way, I guess, we all are. And the both of us had things in common. Who knew? I wished I hung out with Aaron a bit more before that day.
And I learnt that one hour, can change everything.
(Plus, I got a cool basketball for my birthday, the following week.)
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Good Night, Sleep Tight
I am soooo whiny.
I feel really odd right now. A part of me is desperate to be held tightly and comforted while the other half is telling me to run, run far and fast... away from all. Away. This half wants to be alone.
To seek some answers to the recurring questions bothering my sanity for the past few weeks. I haven't been sleeping well, not concentrating well in class nor have I been really nice to the people around me. My temper is flaring like crazy, maybe I am just very good at sequestering such emo-ness within me.
I did not mean to turn like this. We can blame the stress (exams in like... so soon!) or just the lack of effective communication I have lately. Many many things to do, yet so little time. I feel an immense emptiness and disconnected from everyone, yes, even the BF. =( But I know people will worry about me, especially if it is so apparent. But I am not one to share emotions and feelings so openly, as jovial a person I may seem to be.
Frustration is not the solitary culprit in my agony. You know how bad things just happen in a chain reaction? Yeah, just like "jatuh ditimpa tangga"... In my case, it's a chain of negative feelings... LoL ... what an oddball yes?
I have been getting irritated waaaay too easily these days. Sometimes the BF is the poor victim (sorry dear!) yet then I end up feeling guilty for taking it out on him... Hence, guilt sets in. And I feel worse. I get jealous very easily, I nag, I complain, I get possessive and controlling... Ah you get the picture!
And when such sorts of distractions set in, it is easy to lose touch with someone so close, so cherished. Yeah, I am saddened by the fact that we haven't really spent much quality time together, even less talking for that matter. And both of us being so busy with studies and ECA... aahh... I hope they don't aggravate things.
I can get too demanding until I am shocked. So angsty until I retrospect in fear. More fear in the potential strain it leaves on our relationship... [nearing 8 months already! A MEGA-achievement for me!!! ] I certainly hope the BF doesn't hate me by now. Missing him terribly mucho grando!
Such behavioural crises commonly overflows and affects interpersonal relationships [friends, family?]
LoL! Lastly, having so little time to finish the course revisions is an additional 'burden'? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
Now does anyone see why I wanna run away from all this to find solitude?
OR seek consolation to alleviate this gargantuan psycho-physico-emotional weight?
Haha, running away seems to be the best choice as at this point. Less work. Keep on running. Metaphorically. (cos my knees aren't that strong)
It is one of those times/phases in life where one has some serious thinking to do!
I feel like I have lost myself, struggling in chaos. Chaos within myself and maybe the immediate environment. *encapsulated*
From another perspective, it is good that no one knows. (OK, you bloghoppers know now!)
This is truly loneliness in the midst of solitude.
Good night & Sleep tight!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
It Ends Tonight
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I get the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know
It ends when darkness turns to light
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sometimes...
Deep down, as much as I try to calm it... I feel a storm brewing.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Top 10 Reasons I Hate "The Moron"
1. He pisses ON the toilet seat (and doesn't clean it afterwards!)
2. He refuses to clear the hair (obviously HIS hair cos I am NOT balding!) clogging the bathroom drain. He continues to use the bathroom, obliviously!
3. When the rubbish bin is full, he just takes another plastic bag and fills his rubbish into the new bag then places it RIGHT NEXT to the overflowing bin. CAN'T YOU JUST BLARDY THROW IT OUTSIDE???
4. He never places the cooking utensils, pots and pans he uses back into the cabinets. JUST LEAVE IT TO DRY BY THE SINK AND EXPECTS THEM TO MAGICALLY WALK INTO THE CABINETS!
5. When I wake up late, he will go "You should wake up earlier! You should get ready earlier!" I am like, WTF! I suka lah when I wanna wake up or if I wanna skip classes [note: still attending everything]
btw, HE BLOODY OCCUPIES THE BATHROOM FOR 1 HOUR EVERYTIME HE GOES IN!!! (and only leaving me 30 min b4 lectures. WTF he doing inside I dono!) FYI, you still are a minger, regardless of how you groom yourself ok!
6. When I wake up early, he will go "Wah, wake up early ah? What happened to you ah?" *toot* WHO THE HECK YOU THINK YOU ARE? MY GRANDMOTHER AH?
7. He EXPECTS ME to call the landlady (cos he apparently cannot communicate in Cantonese) , pay bills, get the net connection, fix anything that goes WRONG in the house blablabla... though he is the MAIN TENANT!
8. He always talks about wanting to clean the house cos it's getting dirty. BUT NEVER EVER DOES IT!!! In the end, poor little Joshy has to do it!!! (OMG I am amazed at his high tolerance level of cleanliness!!!)
9. Last weekend, I sensed some odd smell in the kitchen. THERE WERE ROTTING ONIONS ON THE REFRIGERATOR!!! I told him about it and guess what? He smelled it too, but just ignored the odour.
10. THIS EFFING IDIOT JUST ENTERS MY ROOM AND GOES THROUGH MY COMPUTER, SEARCHING FOR STUFF (with the excuse that the internet's not working) WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! WHEN I AM NOT HOME...
My blood is boiling.
p.s. Oh yeah, he has bad colour sense too. Horrible matching fashion sense.
MINGING SUPREME HE IS...
Monday, November 13, 2006
Arghhh...
And I went home and placed the respective scrubs in strategic and handy locations like, by the kitchen sink and the bathroom basin...
As I was arranging stuffs in the bathroom, my "dearest" housemate entered and was wondering what I was doing with the scrubbing pad thingy...
Dearest: What's the pad for?
Me: Err, to clean the bathroom basin lor... the old ones like disintegrate dee ma...
Dearest: But I though we can use that *points to the toilet bowl cleaning-brush*
Me: OMG!!! Whaaaat!!! You can't use the same thing to clean the toilet bowl and the basin...
Me: YOU IDIOT!!! (of course, I didn't say this last bit out loud)
Dearest: It's the same one what. We don't put our faces so close to the basin.
Me: Err, let's just use the pads ok?
I AM LIVING WITH A LAZY, INCOMPETENT WEIRD SICK PORNO FREAK WHO IS YUCKY AND STUPID...
OMG... Save me!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I have learned...
Harsh truth?
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Onset
I have like, straight guy friends, telling me they want to experiment the alternative lifestyle. In short, they wanna try being gay. Like seriously.
*gasps*
Also, my girlfriends are complaining that they lack a fabulous faggoty friend (with the exception of me, of course)
BEWARE!!! The Pink Army is off to conquer new realms...
Thursday, November 02, 2006
My Paper Heart
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please, I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can
Tears fall, down your face
The bitter taste, is killing
Something that I know
Life is, easiest when I am around you.
So bottle up the past ,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it drift away, as life brightens
Time has passed
The seasons go
Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for others
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I desire
Summer time, the nights they are so long
The leaves fall down, and so do I into your arms
Where I belong, for longer than forever
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, whenever you are gone
And spring blossoms you to me
Please just don't doubt me
My paper heart will bleed
Only a life with you will do
Stay with me please, I plead you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can
Never will I let you go...
Friday, October 13, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Beautiful Collision
Things that go bump in the night
With such beautiful precision
Fate could create both you and I
Do you know what it means
To abandon your dreams?
To leave with the storms rolling by
How the clouds on this day
Come to take you away
Til you're gone gone far away from me
Beautiful beautiful night
What a beautifully dangerous ride
What a beautiful day we could hardly complain about
What's going on in the sky
Do you know what it means
To abandon your desires ?
To leave with the no tears falling
How the suffocating mist on this day
Come to take you away
Til you're gone gone far away from me
Move with the strangers
That pass through your days
If someone by chance
Should call out your name
When you're lost in the places you don't care to stay
A blinding romance to blow you away
A beautiful collision
When both we shared an intermission
From every logic and sense around
Ah, I hear that sound!
Of a...









