This

I have never felt so sad in my whole life, thus far.

I have never cried so much.

I have never felt so alone.

I have never been so scared of falling asleep and dreaming.

Not even when anyone close to me died.

I am feeling like a huge failure.

I am feeling so many things, I can't even describe them.

This is the lowest point of my life.

It will take a lot and a long long time... for me to climb up this steep cliff...

And be happy again.


Please tell me I can do it.

Anyeong Hasaeyo!

So... I was in Seoul, South Korea (Don't get why the locals insist on dropping the "South" when referring to their own country... NOT YET REUNITED YET LA, HELLO!!!) for a week last month. I was AHEM AHEM representing our beloved soon-to-be 50-years old country in a competition...
Hmm... just look at the portion of pics I am posting along, below la OK?

Seoul is really nice... BUT 90% OF THEIR SUBWAYS HAVE NO ESCALATORS... @^$*$%^*@! Fabulous me had to slug my heavy heavy luggage up and down flight after flight of granite staircases. So unglam OK?

My main problem was... MOST OF THE SIGNS IN RESTAURANTS AND ESTABLISHMENTS... ARE ALL IN KOREAN!!!

You can only see English in the airport and govt offices... more or less absent elsewhere!

Quite nice public toilet...

Please queue here... to use the urinals!!! =)

There are statues of over-bulky muscular men on the roads...

As well as of men wrestling each other in public...

I Am That Guy

I am that guy who is super duper lazy to reply comments left on my blog.

I am that guy who still loves to read comments left on my blog, except the spamming ones.

I am that guy who likes to eat ayam.

I am that guy who likes to eat babi, also.

I am that guy who turned semi-vegetarian this week.

I am that guy, who never really studied in school or college, being busy with everything not related to studies.

I am that guy, who was the first guy to have a mobile phone in my secondary school class.

I am that guy who damaged that very first “Alcatel” mobile phone, 2 months later.

I am that guy who drives the cheapest car among all my friends.

I am that guy who was repeated rejected by practically anyone I liked.

I am that guy who once thought I’m never ever gonna have a boyfriend because I’m just not part of the gang into the ‘scene’.

I am that guy who commented on the wrong blog and freaked you out.

I am that guy who did the same abovementioned mistake twice more, carelessly.

I am that guy who thought you would have ignored me by then.

I am that guy who started chatting with you on MSN while in class.

I am that guy who kept sending you songs from my playlist, practically everyday.

I am that guy whose heart cried a river when you thought you are not the right type for me.

I am that guy who pretended to be your boyfriend, for you to ward off unwanted attention by guys you don't like.

I am that guy who was so nervous to meet you that I ran away after a glance.

I am that guy who called you for consolation for hours on the night of my late grandmother’s funeral.

I am that guy who was so afraid to look you in the eye when we first met.

I am that guy who didn't want to hold your hand because I was shy.

I am that guy who grabbed your hand when Jim Brickman performed “Valentine” during his concert last year.

I am that guy who watched The Lake House with you on our first date.

I am that guy who didn't stop being your boyfriend since then.

I am that guy who bought 70% of all your soft toys. You’re the guy who bought all the soft toys lying on my bed now. Even though we’re both guys and we’re not supposed to even know how to appreciate soft toys.

I am that guy who had to put up with your passion to play ALL sports, taking some of ‘our time’.

I am that guy who rejoiced when I was accepted to the same university as you are in.

I am that guy who started to learn cooking because of you.

I am that guy who frequently made you the guinea pig for my culinary experiments.

You are that guy made me scrambled eggs for breakfast, at least until you decided sleeping is more important than making breakfast for me.

I am that guy whose life was made complete when my mum started accepting you as part of the family. Well, at least, she doesn’t hate you!

I am that guy who was freaked when my mum asked you to move in with me to save money on rent. Guess you freaked out more!

I am that guy who wishes the two of you could really get along with each other.

I am that guy whose mouth you shoved a chocolate ice-cream sandwich into when I was halfway telling you I'm trying to lose weight.

I am that compulsive idiot who threw a huge fit on you because I found out you sprained your ankle real bad while playing basketball.

I am that guy who always argues that my nephew is a way cuter baby than your niece.

I am that guy who made the both of us close to bankruptcy because of my expensive tastes.

I am that guy who gave you more silly nicknames than a dictionary could give.

I am that jealous dumbo who turned green when that CW guy kept sending you messages even though you made it clear that he was just a platonic friend.

I am that guy who rolled you up in a comforter and called you a popiah.

I am that guy who wants to be a househusband in the future while you work hard to buy our dream condominium!

I am that guy who made you sad so often because of my unpredictable tempers and stupid inconsiderate behaviour.

I am that guy who crushed your heart with my dark past.

I am that guy who left you alone for most days for the past 2 months because of my frequent travels.

I am that guy who cried when I lost the elections. You are that guy who came right then to be by my side, to give me strength.

I am that guy who can’t stop babbling and bore you with my nonsense. You are that guy who smiled and (acted) interested still.

I am that guy who always screws up all the romantic surprises I concocted for you.

I am that guy who sends you handmade cards with corny messages inside.

I am that guy who bought you freshly imported pricey chocolates which made all my girl friends jealous of you.

I am that guy who spent too much while travelling to get you an actual present for this occasion, so this is my gift to you. *sniggers*

I am that guy who doubts the future and what it holds for us. You are the reason my faith in our love is intensifying.

Yet, I am the guy who cherishes every single second of every minute of every hour of every day of these 12 months that we have shared our lives together.

Yes, I am that guy who gave you that soft toy puppy sitting on your computer monitor.

And on this day, I am just that guy who wants to say to you,

"Happy 1^st Anniversary , Dear!!!"