Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
So far away, yet so close... Am I turning obsessive?
Darn, I miss him so much. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... those smart-asses always say. It was only a few weeks yet it feels like years...
Only 7 hours dear... Hehe but I am the only one excited here, on the verge of hyper-ventilating even. Someone's rather tak apa about the whole thing. *grumbles* This is THE trip, you know? Never mind that it is his backyard and I have studied there before.
Come to think of it, why didn't we go Bangkok? Everyone seems to be headed there uh? Blek.
We... erm I will be away in the Lion City until Tuesday. And it's KL after that. [KL involves a lot of hanging around not-straight places, like ze notorious Wisma SPK FF and the Curve]
Will try ma best to update. *scouts honour* (Wait, that does not count since I was never a Scout) Now, don't go fall in love with another 'gay' blog okay? *slobbering wet kisses*
Yeah to end this, I borrow a few words from Shakespeare. Lit is sooo cool!
Love is not love, which altersWhen it alteration finds.It is never fixed markThat looks on tempestAnd is never shaken.Love alters notWith time's brief hours and weeksBut bears it outEven to the edge of doom.All you need is ONEFor better or worse.
Ta. Aah... I have not finished packing!!!Moisturiser. Check. Exfoliator. Check. Toner. Check
Thursday, May 25, 2006
The day began with me receiving a morning call from a new friend. *nudge nudge* Sweet way to kick off the day uh, with a fix of caffeine! And as I was about to leave the house, the celly rang. Unidentified caller. Answered. I got an interview for my dream degree course with erm… not-my-dream-university. But hey, they are giving me a chance (however minute) to pursue my goals. *hops around like a bunny*
Met the GXC about my instructor evaluation. Man, I have so much to improve on! Grr… I guess I need to be more assertive and not sound like I am in the midst of copulating. And BodyStep Release 64 is pretty tricky to teach. Scared leh. The national Master Trainer is going to assess me next week! *quivers* But JOSHY BOLEH!!!
Later that evening, the friends and I were laughing our heads off reading the Multiply journal of someone we knew. He posted the WHOLE MSN conversation with the (now ex) girlfriend. And proclaimed to his entire network that he gave his ‘virginity’ to the girl but why why why did she dump him? He even described the sessions in gross detail. Like the sound effects when she ‘O-ed’… blablabla damn self-ball-enlarging. He claimed he lost the will to live and so blur until nearly ran someone over (YOU WANNA DIE, GO DIE LAH… DON’T KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE!) Worse, he ‘hinted’ at the readers to approach the girl anonymously to hitch back with him. (super stupid!) [Sore loser attempting to tarnish the girl’s name]
Major attention-whore. (He even 'volunteered' to come to our steamboat, ‘needed consolation’. Hello, never invite you also!)
'Nuff bitching. Here comes the pics of the mucho yummy-cholesterol-laden Steamboat feast we hosted for ourselves.
All ready to go into MY tummy!!!
We are the Chopstick Musketeers!
Everything into Grandma’s Secret Recipe Radish Stock!
Err, are we steaming our aiskrim potong also?
After stuffing ourselves silly with such gastronomical delight and exquisite red wine, this little bugger made a cameo appearance!
Are we going to do it bare back?
(Scroll down for the dirt…)
It fits so well…
Caught in the act red-handed, with UV light!!!
ALWAYS remember to leave a pocket of air in the tip!
His hand also can ejaculate ah?
Apparently, it’s the right size for this banana.
This a R(A) Production. Horny kids, go away!
Cast: Garfield & Mr. Lion
Guest Starring: Jas’ Hand
Post-Production Cleanup: Mandy
“Come on dude, try and have a taste on my big dong. A wise man once said, “Once you tried dick, you will never get sick (of it),” persuaded Garfield. Mr. Lion responded, "I am not sure about this."
“Uhmm yeah, that feels awesome. You’re really skilful for a first-timer.”
“A hand in need, is a (you fill in the blanks) indeed...”
*Any unauthorised public presentation of the production is prohibited as copyrights are reserved by this blog. -LoL-
'Twas really really late, and I was super hungry without an idea of anywhere to go for food. The friends thought of going to E-Gate (supposedly the newest happening spot here) thus I tagged along.
We chose to try out this Hongkie Kopitiam (which is seriously trying to emulate the success of Kim Gary, but fails miserably) for supper and lunch-dinner-supper for me. Bad service, non-English-speaking waiters (so what if it's Chinese cuisine!), pricey-copycat food...
And pretty lame names for their menu offerings,
Fermented milk beneath your
armpits wings? No thank you.
Okay, we know you don't serve halal food but... "It's a pig!"??? Serve whole babi there ah?
With such fancy names, how does a customer order and appear sophisticated doing it? "Excuse me, I want one 'Moo! Moo!' please." Or "I will have an "Oink, oink there!" (And have the waiter snort for you, right on the spot?) What about "I want one "Down Under, Fly Over, What Ever!"??? (Sounds like some sexual act!)
Hehe, a heart-shaped jelly courtesy of the cute chef.
The only good thing I have to say about the place is that cute affable chef who was particularly nice to me, well, cos they ran out of what I ordered. (unbelievable!) But such an abominable deed was forgiven cos he grinned
impassionedly sheepishly at me and gave me free dessert! Too bad he ain't a strong enough reason to warrant another visit there.
Ugh, it's like the Lala Central inundated with congregations of Tucows. They were ALL OVER THE PLACE. My eyes were burning. Eww!
On second thought, I might go back and order a personal hands-on serving of "Down Under, Fly Over, What Ever!" from the cute chef. *slurps* Will see what about it can drive one crazy.
Coming up next: 6 young adults and ONE CONDOM...
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Me: Hello? (no sound) Hello? (heavy breathing) Hello?
Kel: I just woke up. (Oi, it's 10pm already la!)
Me: I am bored. I need to go out.
Me: Cincai. You drive?
Kel: Set. 10 minutes.
20 minutes later, he came and we were on our way to pick up another guy and 3 girls (Carpooling is good for the environment!) to the infamous nightlife district on this little island.
Since someone I knew was working, I and only I got my cover charge waived, much to the chagrin of the others. Hey, I am broke and blue! And I just plonked my behind by the bar. Not in the mood to sweat and grind body2body with others on the podium. And my 'friends' abandoned me.
SG: Had a bad week?
Me: Uhm yeah. Sorta. (Is it THAAAT obvious?)
SG: Can't be as bad as mine though.
SG: I think it has generally been a bad year for me.
Me: Sorry to hear that. (Never talk to strangers, I have always been taught)
SG: So what's going wrong in your life?
Me: Err... I doubt I should bother you with my problems. (Hello, I don't know you. YOU'RE A STRANGER!)
SG: Let us get a drink and talk? It's on me.
Me: No, thanks. (I have got double shots of rum, tequila, Chivas and Bacardi in front of me)
SG: Come on. [signals for the bartender to refill my tequila]
Me: I don't accept drinks from unfamiliar people. (Swear on holy Carrie Bradshaw!)
SG: Don't worry. I am not trying to pick you up.
Me: Err... I didn't mean that. (ARE YOU KIDDING?)
SG: I just want to talk. (Sure, they all say that!)
Me: Uhm, okay so talk.
I very much reluctantly started chitchatting with Stranger Guy. He was really eloquent and expressive. He listens to Joy Williams. Guess somehow that let my guard down for a bit. It's hard to find someone who appreciates the same kind of music you do. Oh, he was very polite throughout, like someone on a first date. (my take on this!) He did not inch closer nor did we have any form of physical contact... Uhm, until the end lah, that is.
He also thinks that Elliot Yamin SHOULD BE IN THE FINALE instead of oddball Taylor Hicks! He did most of the talking. I am not the type that opens up so easily and spill all my dirty stories. (I keep it for this blog! =] ) He is very-married with kids (err...), has rewarding job yet he hates it, came to the club with friends but wasn't in mood blablabla and reads Steinbeck too.
So we yakked for a while. Amazingly maintaining a conversation is possible under such high-decibel conditions. It was all wellbehaved. Nothing sexual, too left winged or touchy-feely. A no-frills chat with a stranger. An amusing experience, I would classify it as such.
A while later, my friends decided to come seeking for me and drag me to centrestage. He finally introduced himself as "Mike" and we shook hands. (Yes, this is the only physical thing we did) Then, we parted ways.
Nope, I did not ask for his number nor did he ask for mine. I didn't even know whether he is str8 or gay or whatever.
I am still pondering (and extremely flabbergasted) about the whole fiasco. I am NOT used to so much attention. And being chatted up by a guy who does not plan on bringing me home, is like ... I donno, I don't get picked up often enough to know the difference anyway.
Was it my appearance? But I was just drabbed in jeans and a tee. (How boring!)
Was it my 'image'? But I am like Jimmy Neutron-nerdy. And enlarged pores are not flattering I am sure.
Did I appear talkative? I used SMS to communicate with the bartender. Very malas to talk.
Did I appear nice? Oh, I was putting on my "Fuck Off!" face.
Did I look so miserable? Guess I did. Fatigued from workload, uni admission essays stress, and relationship speedbumps.
So funny one.
"Mike" could just have picked any random fella to talk with.
I guess I will never know. Nevertheless, still very weird.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Everybody who has any sort of a virtual social life has MSN Messenger or Y! Messenger or G! Talk or *gasp* the very-ancient ICQ!
Being one who does not get sidetracked by technology... I MSN too! But people always ask me why I am always 'Away'? Why I don't MSN as much as people my age should be doing?
Because I have only like (counts fingers) ... five* INTERESTING people to chat with. That figure includes a certain blogger who I have just started conversing with. [And you too, you BabaYetu-listening botak, I know you're reading this] Hence, I don't find it crucial to sit by the computer and wait for them to come online to talk to me. Sad case eh?
*[Sieving through the list of ascetics who are NO LONGER online anymore, guys who just want to get frisky with me, the one who can't seem to remember who I am (asking for my ASL 3 times in a week is just plain rude!), and people who are just plain boring hehe.]
Things are going to change I tell you. I am going to make a difference now. I am going to set more time to MSN and chat with more people. It will benefit my sanity. It may even make me stay home more. I think there are lot of people out there I can have engaging discussions about why Taylor Hicks should NOT be the next American Idol, the weather, the best type of wood for furniture and
If anyone reading this notes my
Be rest assured that this charitable deed you are committing to will bring good to the universe at large.
I will be nice, I promise. =)
Good gosh, I am getting acutely audacious tonight.
Okbyez. I'm out.
Friday, May 19, 2006
After a few weeks, I took the initiative to ask him out for dinner. It was okay lah. (He even walked me to my car. I was like “What?”) Subsequently, he started all the flirting (voraciously, might I add). He would give me ‘morning calls’ to wake me up for work (I am an extremely heavy sleeper). So suh-weet, I thought.
Then Chindian Guy told me, he doesn’t really think he is gay. But… but… he would like to date me all the same.
What the *toot*?
So you want to get some X-rated action with me yet you are telling me you don’t like boys? Funny.
I turned him down lo. Major turn-off okay? [But seriously, I did not for once, picture him as a potential BF]
“Let’s just be friends yeah?” was my response.
As hours turned to days and days turned to weeks, communication between CG and I became far and few in between. Sure, there were the usual pleasantries exchanged and SMSes “How did your day go today? Hope you have a good week ahead.”
So I didn’t shut him totally off. I was semi-serious about being buddy-buddy-ish.
Then, on Wednesday CG sent me an SMS and that marked the beginning of a long, shrewd conversation...
CG: Are you attached to David? (Told him about my recent trip to KL)
CG: Coz… Coz… Coz… I miss you.
CG: Muakzzz… Ehehe
Me: Why? (Note the monotony?)
CG: Ahahaha... Was just wondering how you and David are getting on.
Me: So have you met anyone new lately? (Trying to divert the topic)
CG: No.. Ur the one n only for now.
Me: One and only? You’re making me blush. How’s college?
CG: College is so boring without you in my arms, baby.
Me: You’re horny, aren’t you?
CG: No I m not darling. Juz madly in love with u… To hold you close to me.
Me: Err… err.. and uhm…
CG: Ahaha… Watz wrong sugar?
Me: Just surprised.
CG: Come on baby… Dont you wanna feel two hot lips brushing against each other…
Me: *eyes wide open* My my, you ARE horny.
CG: No… Itz expression of love n passion… Cuddling n romancing… Feeling each others warmth n body heat.
-No reply from me for an hour-
CG: Why no reply? Scared adi? (Yes, damn I am freaked!)
Me: I don’t know what to say.
CG: Ahaha… U can strip down n slowly caress your cock. (WHAT!!!)
Me: Wait a minute. Hold on there.
CG: Wait for what? For u to gently strip for me?
Me: I dono where you’re getting to with this. But I guess you’re thinking of me as the wrong guy. Sorry. (I am so innocent and naïve ma)
CG: Aren’t you horny now too? (not by you, buster!)
Me: I’m not that easily turned on ok? Gosh…
CG: Really? What it takes to turn you on? Me being naked?
Me: Oh pls la
Goodness gracious me!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
(in no particular order)
-Met some new interesting people.
-Got hit on by a teenage girl.
-Got hit on by a stranger
cute guy at a straight club. Lighting, or the lack of it can fool one’s eyes.
-Overworked my lower back, being stupid enough to try to lift 70kg doing squats.
-Started initiating conversations with people in the gym, mostly cute guys. I just want more people to attend my BodyStep classes, serious!
-Had a long, confusing and heated discussion on why democracy, and NOT communism works better for this country. History majors are so jiwang.
-Got snogged. More than once.
-Have been down with a flu which doesn’t seem to go away. (Doc said it could be a viral infection. Scary.)
-Went clubbing again although I told myself I should stop going so often.
-Had a straight guy friend asking me to teach him how to French kiss his gf. “You want me to try it on you? I have been told I am good.” *sniggers*
-Became frustrated with students who are unable to differentiate between ‘mass’ and ‘volume’ or ‘electric energy’ and ‘heat energy’.
-Strangled one of them. In my imagination of course.
-Told a random guy in the club that methinks he’s cute. He stared at me.
-Received a glass of bandung, several packet of sweets and cekodok for Teachers’ Day. While the colleague sitting adjacent to me got a silk scarf.
-Nearly got laid in a piano store. But I walked away. Don’t wanna stain that majestic grand piano, do we?
-Boozed for free. I didn’t even know the bartender boy.
-Did not argue nor talk mushily with David.
-Injured my tibia (leg bone) with a microfracture during a tennis marathon. Gotta lay off gym for a while now. I’m so going to die of boredom.
-Have been receiving sexually suggestive SMSes from a guy I blew off. Pun intended.
-Started including more bananas in my diet.
-Discovered that taking whey is slowing down my abs development. Big bummer.
-Got an antenna ball for my car aerial. Makes it all the more gay ay?
-Have not been able to fall asleep before 3 o’clock in the morning.
-Saw a girl trip over her stepboard and fell hard. What did I do? Continue stepping... *grins*
-Finished planning my Singapore-KL megatrip due end of this month.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Location: The living room
The Oprah Winfrey Show was on air.
And they were talking about "Gay men who got married to women."
I was reading the newspapers, when...
Mum: Why do men turn gay?
Me: Huh? Err, I don't think they just suddenly got sick of women and turned to men.
Mum: But why do homosexuals want to get married?
Me: Err... Umm... Maybe because they really love each other. Just like you and Daddy.
Mum: But how do they have sex?
Me: *jaw drops* Why are you asking me such questions?
Mum: I guess you would know.
This happens pretty often by the way.
By some supernatural alignment of the stars, I would always be there (somewhat uncomfortably), with my mother as some gay-related content is being aired on the TV, especially those very open-minded Taiwanese channels. (God knows why she watches them, she's like Banana)
Here I sat, yakking on the phone with a friend. Minding my own business. *poof* Mummy dearest appeared out of nowhere.
I sat there. Stunned.
Friday, May 12, 2006
This is like the first gift I got this year. 'Imported' all the way from Cambodia (on AirAsia) by Zemien, exclusively for me. I wish. It is a cheap but not cheap-looking oversized T-Shirt. It's not even worth so much to post such a huge picture. But then Zemien is a big guy, and he might wallop me. So there!
Yes, this wristband is from Billy, my neighbour for 18 years. We have been staying on the same street until I moved to somewhere more civilised. Being the cheapskate that he is, he got me a really localised Body Glove product. (Can't even remember when I stopped using BG stuffs!) He says its for BodyPump. On realising everybody else's presents cost a bomb compared to his, he inserted a RM10 note. So original.
I have always been a rebel. Especially in the unwritten rule that 'GX instructors must be garbed in Nike products'. I am an adidas loyalist. And there's the never-ending questioning, "Ah, you use adidas one ah? Why not Nike?" Figure my friends think its time I conform. So I got a set of Nike Dri-Fit apparel. A Viz Air sleeveless top, a pair of really light, woven shorts and 3 Jordan ID bands. White is so my colour, I am so guileless what.
Mucho thanks to Kelvin, Amanda, Sway, Mephisto, Daphne and Beatrice (What an auntie name!)
I so love this parfum. Its in a snazzy, black (ooo, sexy no?) vaporisateur natural spray (???) The botol glamour sungguh. Courtesy of my high school bros, City Glam exudes so much virility to excite the olfactory senses. Totally a man's man fragrance. Love it. Love it. Love it. Perhaps it's the explanation as to why more and more hot guys are
sexing talking to me lately?
I have been using the same sports plasticky wallet since like 4 years ago. Its shrunken and smells funny. So The Godsister got me a brand new leather trifold wallet from Tommy Hilfiger. She bought it in the States before coming back for summer break from college. It's about 1/3 of the price here. Capitalism. And she got another one for Sean for a mere USD6.00! 80% off!
Yup, I love the presents I got this year. Good way to start my 20s!
Oops, I forgot. Tonnes of appreciation also go out to e-cards sent by Colin, Tim and Philip. Hallmark loh!
La la la la la... I am a Material Boy, living in a Material World.
Happy Vesak Day to all Buddhist friends and everybody else, happy long weekend! Too bad lah if you are not in Malaysia. =]
Sunday, May 07, 2006
I reached home agitated. ONLY 60 minutes before the party. *panic* I so needed a shower badly.
So I commemorated the last day of my teenage years surrounded by friends, food, ice-cream, cakes and erm… strangers, a lot of them. (it was a café and at dinner time somemore!)
Got balloons! At an angle, the red ones resemble boobs.
I am 20! NOT 40! *grumbles* NOT FUNNY! But it was 'imported' tiramisu.
Like any party, we talked as we dined. Primarily about sex. And about Ed getting raped by a girl the night before.
Like we were in a school canteen, we passed
threw food around.
Like a kid, Jian popped the red
Like a horror movie, there were a lot of high-pitched screaming.
Like middle-aged people, several friends gave me angpows as gifts. (Too lazy to get me a proper present, cheh!)
A bargain, you can get Armani City Glam from Cold Storage for only RM1.49! lol
After dinner (it ended at 11.45pm), the gang adjourned to The Café, a gay club; like Penang’s answer to Liquid. So I was in a gay club with mostly homophobic friends (they know of my liking for boys.) I can’t even recall the last time I entered a club, let alone a gay one. Ah the irony! Plus, it was Daphne’s first time in a club. There goes your virginity, girlfriend! *pat pat*
Last thing I remembered clearly was the deejay announcing my birthday and playing Madonna’s ‘Sorry’ for me (the gayest song the friends requested in my honour). And how awkward is it (for me) as my friends cheer ‘YUM SENG’ like at some Chinese wedding dinner?
Everything that happened later is vague to me.
My memory of last night is approximately as crystal clear as this picture.
But I think there was some invisible sign on me that exclaimed ‘Touch ‘n Go’ because guys just came up and squeezed my bum and left. Donno how lah, but someone took my shirt off and topless I was. Like I am some hustler like that. Got this one guy (dyed hair, eww!) who kept grinding his butt all over me and grabbed me crotch with my friends in clear view.
Me being violated.
[Chad dear, it wasn’t my fault! Honest!] I think it is good I am unable to conjure up the whole scenario.
But I digress.
I am 20 now and the world is waiting for me. Life is going to be good.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
In every disco I get in,
My heart is pumping for love,
You left me longing for you.
#Sing-a-long to the melody of Infernal's ‘From Paris to Berlin’#
So the KL trip has ended and I am now home, settling back into the boring routine that is my life. Ecstatic lah when I see new eateries and buildings popping up around KL after 6 weeks away. I totally fell in love with the valley again although I was only in 3 places throughout the week.
Damansara. Bandar Kinrara. Bank Negara.
In spite of
The closest thing I had to alcohol
Another odd thing is that I actually hung out at One Utama for 3 consecutive days? And I did not run out of things to do there. Of course having the company of David the Divine Adonis was a pulling factor. (Yup, the boy
dated lepak-ed with me for 3 days in the exact same mall.) Oh yes, there was also Soon The Married and Isabella the Celestial Chinadoll who blazed the aisles with mua pre- and post Labour Day. (never mind the last two, they were just around to pay for my spending hehe) Plus this biatch, ICC snatched my Maydaze tickets away! It was free of charge but still. =S
Asia's Largest Indoor Climbing Gym
Camp 5. I was literally
lovingly led dragged up here by David. I stress on the verb dragged. This future psychologist thinks climbing rocks/cliffs and falling on my back is the spot-on, immediate cure for my dislike of heights. I was squealing away as he pulled me in. (This kid has strong arms, I am telling you.) So David with all his machismo completed the circuit in less than 10 minutes and yours truly err… let’s say it was not laudable even for a newbie. Yay! Another sport Joshy sucks at.
So I explored every nook and cranny of Klang Valley’s favourite mall, as voted by KLue readers. Bookstore adventure, arcade tournaments, window shopping, dining,
gaydar-ing people-watching. The sort of things people normally do at places like this. I am stale I know. But I spotted Daniel Gan, the Milo ad fella.
*cough cough* The best part was bunking over at young
boytoy David’s home, specifically his room. We had fun playing there. Clean fun, mind you. Like watching Naruto. And he even made me some potato salad served on his refined abs. Yum! Guess what? He We decided to stay in and do some TV-surfing instead of shaking booty to other beautiful sweaty hunks at Maydaze. What joy can be found by grinding your bod surrounded by topless men all over the place? Watching the idiot box while munching on chips and tub after tub of ice-cream. Now that’s pure ambrosia, no?
Work was a drag. Family is drama as usual. But you know what is the best therapy? SHOP TILL I DROP!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Go on, join the hype! Do your part for charity... and this counts as a justifiable excuse for pushing yourself to work out harder. Be the SURVIVOR!
Can get to see more eye-candy also! Especially that hottie you have been ogling at all week! (Insert personal relevant reason to participate.)
I think it should be fun! More so during the actual Grand Finals 'Miracle 2006' at the Curve! I think it will be a true miracle if ANYONE can finish the marathon and remain standing, breathing, alive and didn't break any part of his/her body.
16 HOURS OF GROUP EXERCISE CLASSES! 8am until 12am... 960 minutes!
Are you up for it?
P.S. That 'Bad Boy' post erm... just a song that's been running around in my head these few days. No thanks to some trance-addicted faghag. Sung by Cascada, it is found in her album 'Everytime We Touch'. So NO, I have yet to morph into complete slutty-mode.