dilemma

how does one choose between the following two to spend the weekend off with?

the (almost) BF

who i havent seen for a week, oh yes he is sweet to drive to this little secluded town weekly for our time together, but darn it feels like forever

or

the BFF (best faggoty friend)

well, 4 months is forever!!!

?????

muaks!

with you in my life, i no longer feel alone anymore.

:)

What I Crave

I was craving for some 'traditional' English afternoon high tea.

So he took the day off to accompany me.

Ah, how hilarious it is that we are always dressed the opposite way. One being overdressed and the other too laidback casual. A crime we perpetually repeat, how silly! Four dates and counting.

Chamomile tea for us today?

The way he stares into my eyes; with a vengeance to uncover what's beneath my skin.

Or is it lust?

Or is it romance?

Three dates on three consecutive days.

The scones can wait.

There is a certain physical and intellectual attraction; a long-sought rarity. For someone to appreciate the same things I do in life. The little things. The finer things. The little details that lead to a world of colours.

The quiche and pie can wait.

And as I listed out all the things I am looking forward to later this year, he said, "Can I be there with you?"

I'll have that with vanilla ice-cream, thank you!

As we drove off (into the ubiquitious metropolitan jam) in his yuppie car, the audio system started playing. A soothing bossa nova voice singing,

"I love you, I love you, I love you"

Oh! That lingering aftertaste of blackberries and java!

And then, his fingers crept into the spaces between mine.

You

How you can just see right through me

How you uncover what's beneath my skin

How you know what my heart truly wants

And not what my voice says

The way you look into my eyes

And whisper sweet nothings

Oh why did the lightbulb had to blow

As we ended up dancing in the dark

What you say without words

Unsheaths what was frayed inside

Oh this way you make me feel

Has got me all unreeled

All I can give are all my pieces broken.

No More

Finally, we have reached a mutual agreement. An understanding.

That is this the end.

To over a year of ... turning tables.

I can never keep up.

God only knows what we were fighting for.

But we both know the blame's for us to share.

It's time to say goodbye.

So goodbye...

keep the b*tchy

I was just chilling out in the sun with a bestie (perfecting her tan, while I was probably getting burnt with 3 layers of tan from 3 different island already!) and I made a passing comment about, well, something.

"That is such a joshy-statement!"

"Huh? Err.. okay!"

*awkward silence*

"I will miss you, Josh"

"Aww, I will miss you too, gurl!"

"Can you promise me that you will keep the b*tchy joshy?"

.....

Off to Another Island Getaway!

Actually had a few posts in mind but i kept delaying cos i am so fickle-minded and the frigging job-related paperwork is driving me up the wall.

BREATHE!

Nevermind, I am gonna escape from all the persistent stressors and all things familiar to another 'paradise' island!

Will blog again when I come back!

Till then, many many bone-crushing hugs,

-joshyboi-

Dr. Joshyboi

For real now.

After five long years (rather eventful and tumultous, i must say), i finally reached the end.

I GRADUATED MED SCHOOL YO!

... and all i got were two letters in front of my name, and a huge debt.

[i dono how in the flying f*ck i managed to do it, but i spent close to RM2k on my graduation shopping spree within 24 hours]

in a deeper pit that is called DEBT again...

on another note, i got myself a sexy tan (from my island paradise holiday just this past weekend)... yums! HAHA...

okay, dr joshyboi signing off now. brb. shopping can be exhausting... :)

Into the Madness

The last 4 weeks of medical school.

The last sprint on this 5-year long marathon.

I see the finish line; now to actually cross it!

*****

Woohoo! Ran the 10km category for the 'Biggest Marathon in Malaysia' - The Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2011! Completed it, got a fancy shiny medal from it, got a satisfactory Personal Best time (ranked ahead of over 3600 other people) so me is happy!

[Met my bro, Medielicious... Think I saw Vin from What Lurks Beneath! Was hoping to see more peeps like Anton, but takjadi *sighs*)

I guess you readers (all three of you!) have noted my sudden freefall into being a fanatic runner within this year alone... And it's all good. I count it as my new vice. The good kind. Brought me a lot of good, it has.

Helped me made new (lovable and hilarious but better-figured) friends, made me more disciplined (oh yeah, it's a lifestyle!) and of course, got me to control my weight! And erm, improve my stamina in bed as well! Haha, but that's not for all to know!

More events in my running diary this year! Hopefully they will all happen especially the Great Scottish Run in Glasgow, Baxter Loch Ness Run... and my first Half Marathon @ Penang Bridge Marathon later this year!

*****

I swear that this last month of medschool is driving me mad. Sucking all of the very little lifeforce I have outta me... Ah, so overworked, under-rested, undersexed (cough cough). So drained, possibly the most stressful I have been in like, FOREVER!

People around me are getting meaner too. Screw the politics, I am sticking to my principles! (Of being a lazybum!) And am praying hard to graduate in time, go backpacking without whoring myself out... and live the rest of my life!

*****

Finally got the spare time to bake last Saturday. Gosh how I miss cooking and baking with my loved ones. Made some cute cupcakes for my sister's birthday (not too pretty and definitely not good enough to sell) with some extras for my running buddies from Down South (who ohsokindly accommodated and gulped them all up)...

So yes, I guess there is life outside of medicine for me. I just gotta find the time.

Otherwise, I can consider other career paths! ... Like being a 'househusband'...

*****

Till next time, here's a sincere wish for everybody:

MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES BE WELL AND HAPPY ALWAYS! :)

Forbidden Fruit

So Mr. W somehow stumbled his way into my life. This time in a different role, with different possibilities. What a pleasant surprise really?

And looking at the history, we go all the way back.

In summary, he was previously kinda dating this other friend of mine (D) who I slept with, ONCE, but subsequently that inappropriate moment of heat ruined our friendship, BOO! W is also best friends with one of my best friends and like close-bros with D's ex (who I am friends with) while D was like buddies with an ex of mine. One of W's ex-s seem to be an entry in my little black book.

Oh darn. The story's making both of us look like sluts!

So the question now is, IS HE FORBIDDEN FRUIT?

Another One Catches Fire

so now it's crystal clear that i have been the third party all along...

never mind that i was colluded, now that i know, should i be impressed with myself or be just plain upset?

anyways, we all know this will all lead onto the highway to hell.

[delete entry (E) 2011] click!

ah probably i may just lock myself up and save my heart from all the cracks.

my lovelife is a mess. always been. gah!

My Quarter-life Crisis

Age is just a number.

Hmm, is it really?

Somehow pondering about my coming-of-age is keeping me awake, haha yeah it's 3.00 a.m. now on our extended May Day holiday weekend. Oh darn you ageing hormones!

Dear ol' Joshyboi is turning a quarter-century old this Saturday.

Oh you heard it right! 25. TWENTY-FIVE. oh my gosh, did i just hear somebody say that 25 is the new 40?

Needless to say, all that has got me into a panic of sorts. Panic for and about myself.

I look around me and I see my peers doing all sorts of stuff with their lives. Grown-up stuffs. I have a few classmates who just got married or are engaged to married immediately after graduation this year. Another has purchased a new BMW from his side-job profits (how one juggles a business and medschool amazes me!). Old friends from home have either married and produced cute babies... or are set to do so soon; own properties or are just putting their downpayments. Other friends have been promoted upsohigh-ohsofast in their respective jobs.

Well, I can go on and on.

Looking at the guy in the mirror, well, I ask, what about me? What am I doing with my life?

At this point; where I am is a traffic junction, somewhere where the road forks. I am finally here. Where my friends have already passed this point and travelled on their paths while ... I am just trodding my way along.

For one, I reckon I have an adventurous streak. Add on major impulsive traits. Sounds like a recipe for disaster right? Ah even medical school was made against the family's wishes. *keeping my fingers crossed to graduate on time!*

While others are earning money and supporting their families (or however they choose to spend their riches), I am still dependent on Mummy. A basic stipend, with occasional begging for extras! Haha! Gonna start working soon, so it's my time to pay back my dues. :)

Finishing medschool is gonna such a relief. It has been a rollercoaster ride, lasting 5 years, filled with a lifetime of stories. Oh so I thought.

Now comes the real deal of work. And prior to that, deciding where to do my internship (read: house-officer jobs). And then, which postgraduate pathway to pursue??? OBGYN? Anaesthesia? General Surgery? :( No thanks to those who have already started revising for their MRCP Part 1 exams (gosh, you haven't even finished your MBBS!)

Honestly, I have only seriously considered planning for my graduation trip! :) 6 weeks of backpacking!

Yeah, gonna turn 25 soon. Oh my.

Still single, last I checked. Numerous potential relationships sparked and died off. Being geographically-displaced is an obvious disadvantage. Or maybe I have turned uninteresting/unattractive. Nvm lah, still young right? *cough cough*

Everybody around me's dating somebody. Always being the odd 'lamp-post' puts me off sometime. Ah... Probably should just stay at home and mope. Ha!

"Oh baby. If only we weren't hundreds of miles apart..."

If only. So many 'if-only'... enough to drown me.

So I run. Running seems to be an addiction these days. Running helps me vent out all the $^#(@!% I have accumulated throughout a regular day. It helps me focus (some of my best ideas this semester were conjured while running, yay!). Most importantly, it helps me lose that annoying lovehandle staring back at me in the mirror!

It may be ohsocliched if I speak of how running has changed my life for the better and all that hooha. So I shall refrain from that and just give a short commentary anyways haha! Running has become a part of my life and it's been a positive change all around. Gonna join a kinda big-scale 'international marathon' down south later this month.

Please pray that I don't collapse and die on the tar road. Thankyouverymuch!

Life's generally good for me. Been good all this while and I am grateful for everything. I can't complain.

I know I am a very lucky boi.

I don't need to have everything or to have perfection to be happy. Or contented.

With that being said, nothing's gonna stop me from partying hard on my birthday! Woohooooo!!!

Went to Mama Monster's concert lady for my birthday last year! Wonder what's in store this year?

From strangers to strangers...

a friend posted this on facebook and watching it got a rigmarole of emotions flowing through me like open floodgates...

...memories of previous relationships; both the good and bad ones, and then there were the horrible ones.

the story is based on a heterosexual couple (Asian at that!) who went through the various stages of a relationship which ended... without a happy ending.

at the very least, the both of them managed to remain civil as 'acquaintances'? which is uncommon after breakups. i speak from personal experiences. lol so i am wondering how many of you guys are able to have an amicable breakup... or are able to remain friends with an ex/ ex-s?

"if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, i will always remember what our life was like in this period of time... and i will be thankful for that."

:)

Have a good week ahead, u-ols! :P

Updates?

Whoa! It feels like forever since I last posted an entry.

Well, my last post was right after my impulsive trip down to Singapore to run... and I am about to go there this coming weekend! Partly for a course, to attend a birthday party and also to run again! It's been quite some time and lotsa things been happening, generally good *smiley face*

Speaking about running, somehow I have been running rather regularly and now it's more like an addiction. A healthy one, for once. Ahem, I am 'freakishly' losing weight (according to my colleagues: "ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE NOT ANOREXIC OR BULIMIC???) I have reached a state (worryingly) that I feel uneasy if I don't run for a day... But yeah I do really enjoy running these days (weekly target: minimum of 40km per week), albeit there is some pressure cos even middle-aged uncles and aunties who run at the same trail as I do... well, they overtake me without giving me a chance to catch up! RUTHLESS!

And I am back on the running scene again with 3 runs lined up for the next 2 months or so with 2 in Singapore (back-to-back on the same weekend)... Yeah I know this doesn't really sound like the old joshy huh? But it's true! I am a crazy running boy now!

I really thought I would get a Borderline for my Paediatrics rotation (firstly cos I hate that field and secondly, cos well I skived quite a lot, salvaging my pretty arse by doing a lot of hard labour - aka presenting CMEs every week or so)! But hey, I did save myself and got quite a good grade! A superior even told me that if I wanted to pursue Paediatrics, I would be welcomed into their team here. Hey, that's a compliment right?

And now, I am in the most-mentally-torturing and demanding rotation - Internal Medicine super-combo with Psychiatry. It's a high intensity posting with really intense faculty. Heck, I was even participating in the department's MRCP (UK) PACES revision rounds today. Whoa! Crazy shyte!

But I am enjoying my third round in Internal Medicine... everything makes so much sense here and there's more brainpower required to analyse the problem and then concoct a holistic management plan (yes I have shamelessly been converted into a philosophical physician, ... for the next month or so) But I attribute this mostly to the team's attitude and willingness to teach us and involve us as 'contributing members' (regardless that we are at the bottom of the food chain)... even though it meant reducing me to 'a clerk in a white coat"!

I would enjoy life here in this district hospital so much more if there was less paperwork which is the bane of my existence here. I spend half my time in front of the computer typing case reports and reading e-journals. Needless to say, this robs my time off of actual clinical practice. Most people think I have disappeared off the face of the earth (but nothing's keeping me away from Facebook!)

Life's not bad. I still start a day with a smile. Life's been kind to me and I am grateful!

Okay, I reckon it must be uber boring for anyone who actually persevered and read till this point. My life these days is very simple; revolving only between my house - hospital - clinical school - clinics - park - gym (in whatever order)...

The most interesting thing to have happened to me in recent moons is... well he came to visit me last weekend. And it was awesome. I don't know where this will lead but for now I am a silly smiling boy. No expectations since it's a period of uncertainty for both of us; careerwise. Carpe diem aye? And just be happy, right?

Being happy is a right.

I am happy, and I am contented :)

Run South!

Somehow this is the best sunset shot of the CBD that what my few skills in photography can produce!

Tips please!!!

My supervisor's off to some medical education conference thingy... and I effectively got 2 days off this week! [with implied permission]

So what does a crazeehhh boy like moi do with so much free time???

I am notorious for my psycho-impulsive behaviour! Just do it! Guess nobody is ever surprised with all the mad things I do. E.g. I can just drive all the way Penang/KL-Ipoh just for a dimsum breakfast...

(So after completing all the backlogged work...) I just...

WENT TO SINGAPORE FOR A RUN! randomly... with a few other cuckoo friends!

It's pretty amazing what we accomplished within the 20 hours we were there!

1. Customary sightseeing at all the new fab places! [haven't been back for 7 months yo!]

Marina Bay Sands & the Helix Bridge @sunset, view from the Youth Olympic Park

2. Pilgrimage to shop @ Orchard Road...

3. Sportsgear upgrade @Queensway! [Wayyy cheaper than any bargain place in Malaysia!]

Everything's cheaper here! and yes, i do love running! The tee was meant as a joke!

And dudesss... how AWESOME are FBT shorts!!!

4. Makan at all random places! [so much nostalgia!]

5. Behave all avant garde and artsy @ Haji Lane

6. Did the Henderson Wave Track Run ... Harbourfront - Marang Trail - Mount Faber - Henderson Wave - Forest Trail - Alexandra Arch - Hort Part - Kent Ridge Park = effectively 4 National Parks! +/- 15KM???

Totally the highlight of the trip... we were literally running above Singapore (cos the Henderson Wave's like a suspension bridge lah!) SYIOK GILERRR!!!

7. Went hunting for some awesome possum hiddensecretbakery @ Kandahar Street!

If I had the means, I'd hop over to the Lion City to run every weekend! The new trails set up sound like soooo fun (if they are as good as the one we just conquered)...

For once, for once... this brash trip is actually a healthy one! Now I am back... and broke! :(

in love with my new asics kicks!

*maybe because I also got the number of the cute cashier @the store!

*cough cough!

Prateik Babbar

Thank goodness it's Friday!!!

It's been a relatively good week. Busy as hell. Overloaded with work, particularly case writeups and taking gallons of blood. Oh my poor patients!

Extremely grateful I am out of the Paediatric Wards for this week and the next. Outpatient and Day Care clinics make this department more tolerable for me. Yup, I have officially crossed out Paediatrics as a postgraduate option! NO WAY!!! Was hoping for the week to end sooner nevertheless.

So to kickstart the weekend, a few friends dragged me along to a home-theatre screening of a new blockbuster arthouse (what a paradox!) Hindi movie. Of course I just depended on subtitles...

I can only curse in Hindi. (CODNA TUMM!!!) Well, I can clerk a patient in broken, laugh-worthy Tamil la. But Hindi is a different ballgame. So yeah, the movie, like all art films, was a tad confusing (add that to me being lost in translation!)... kinda made me concentrate more on the chicken masala that was served. Till I saw this guy...

And whoa! Hotness! And I think his primary role is to be the eye-candy and everybody's pot of sympathy. Ah hotness of a slumdog charming gentleman!

If you do watch the movie, you will totally swoon over this guy. His character is such a sweet loveable guy! Add that to many many topless shots of him, him in wet T-shirt and various states of undress.

Otherwise, the movie is okay. Too artsy for a puny brain like mine. Quite freaky, scary and thrilling at times. Fleeting storylines which do more for psychology fans than simple-minded crowds like. Overall, not bad... Apparently it's a relatively accurate portrayal of Mumbai socioeconomic divide.

I must say, the women featured in this film are bound to give some people nightmares. FREAKY ROLES!

But then again, Prateik appears a lot in this film. Do watch this film even it's just for him. It's a validated reason. Or maybe, for Aamir Khan... if you like your men a few years older and some salt 'n pepper sprinkled on top! :P

Here We Go Again

Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends...

Convention requires a relationship to fit the mould set traditionally; bound by the chains of monogamy, limits set by 'spousal' duties and responsibilities...

Whatever happened to the core of two people enjoying each other's company and having a good time together. Perhaps even beyond the definition of friendship. Just cherish the happy times.

Expectations can sometime overwhelm, overrun and overdo a relationship which may have begun beautifully, probably even close to a fairy tale. Alas, disappointment can crop up from all those tiny cracks and haunt you till the whole structure collapses.

Isn't easier to just have a great time together? With memories worthy of planting a million-dollar smile on our silly faces?

No worries about growing old together (great if that happens though!). No worries about the long run. No worries about whatever.

Just sink in the moments we share, the jokes that keep us roaring and the comfort we give each other. Leave all our baggage behind and start anew.

With my grubby hands on your sinewy body and our lips touching, our eyes reveal that we are meant for each other

It may just last a fleeting moment, perhaps just one night. But till the morning light, I am yours and you are mine.

Oh oh what the hell? As long as we are happy :P

No, You Can't Play On Broken Strings

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

*****

Sometimes it ain't all that bad when one doesn't feel a thing.

It may be a sign that everything's okay. That I am okay.

Instead of rolling around, torn up in something that ain't real.

I am okay.

Hi-Def

the past weekend was probably my last official one in the metropolitan city that is KL, for godknowshowlong...

and you can bet i won't settle for anything less than fantabulous! :P

major booze-bingeing and dancing in dark places with faghags/stags.

hung out + snowflakes with tulsyboy, dancerboy and pilotboy! *mangina laughter!

caffeine + pie with medie.

and the people that keep me all together = La Famiglia! [Awww!]

AWESOME TIME Y'ALLs!

really dying to squeeze more time to see more people around but alas fitting into everybody's schedule's a bitch! sorry peeps! there's always next time!

anyways, time for some drama that is my life...

as i was about to leave my KL home, i got a call from Erik (yes, the same guy from the previous post) asking me to go over to his place for lunch. He overcooked wor?

ok lah. free lunch. "lunch" alright!!!??

.........

dah makan dah. plus ice-cream. vanilla. chocolate and strawberries on top :P then we were both just lying on his bed-couch-convertible thingy... chit chat jer lah! omong-omong kosong!

E: Your biceps look quite nice from here.

J: *blushes*

E: Don't pretend to be shy. But yeah lah your triceps need a lot of work!

J: PTUIII!!! But your biceps huger and more defined. Hot!

E: Yeah. Mine's HIGH DEF!

*FAINTS*

Last Night

Does it make me a slut if I end up going home with a guy other than my date?

Whoopsie.

So yeah, yesterday I went on a 'date'... probably the first 'first date' I've been on, for like a year? Or something equally as long.

I had thought it was just a hangout session with a friend. But he called it a date. So it turned into a date. The full works. Me picking him up. With a gift (it was the day after his birthday). Went to a fancy overpriced restaurant. The usual gimmicks I guess.

Plus my trademark lame jokes!

Then everything at the mall was closing down and I was running out of ideas of what to say/do hence I drove him around the city and took a superduper long route back to his place. Halfway through, my celly rang. It was one of my faghags.

"Oiii where are you? What are you doing? I got a friend for you to meet!"

"I am on a date with someone. I am sending him home."

"Ditch him. This guy's way better. Money back guarantee!"

"Err... I will call you back?"

Later I dropped my date off. He didn't ask me to stay.

........

20 minutes later, I found myself queuing up at the entrance to Zouk.

"Josh, this is Erik. MY FIRST GAY FRIEND EVER!"

"Erik, this is Josh. He is also GAY! You're so his type!"

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Not long after, we were whizzed into the club. Somehow this girl has all access to tonnes of events and parties like this. Ah so we got in for free! Some uber VIP zone somemore.

Free booze. Good music. Great (looking) partying crowd = Perfect recipe to get the dancing moves on!

Boy, I must say Erik has pretty awesome groove and hot moves! :P

[Anyways, Erik = 23 year-old banker. Tall lanky, messy hair. Cute :) ]

As expected, with the amount of ethanol in our circulations, we started dancing together.

[Scene Censored!] But then, I had the lottery-worthy luck of being seen by a group of my medschool juniors.

Ah AWKWARD MOMENT!

All the cardio workout and body grinding ended with my faghag telling me:

"Josh, would you be a sweetie and send Erik home please? Both of you are in the same postcode anyways!"

I don't have to tell you guys what happened after right? :P

home is where is the heart is

ah the sweet bliss of being home. a real home.

my hometown. with familiar faces. and slower paces.

[oh yeah, apparently, this tropical sunny island i call home is #8 on some list of Ten Islands You Must See Before You Die. #8? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WE DEMAND A HIGHER RANK!] so yeah, feel free to visit when i am around k? :P

of all the chaos and madness that the past year has been; within my medschool life and out...

it's totally awesome to be home. mummy's homecooked goodies. Penang's classic famed hawker food. the comfort of the same bed and other random furniture that i have grew up with.

THIS IS HOME.

*although technically the home is going under another major renovation due to Mummy's obsessive-compulsive tendencies... haha

there is this sense of belonging. of how some things never change (like some hawker uncles/aunties who have seen me grow since my toddler days) and of how some bonds just remain the same... :) of how home is always gonna be there for me; my haven, my refuge.

I do miss The Valley... and the metropolitan life. A tiny bitsy bit. But life @ home is amazing! And joshy is a happy boi :)

Back there soon, and headed down south for a short stint. And then I will be done with med school~!

Till then, I am off to pre-dinner snacks with Mummy and her sisters and then to a reunion dinner with my band of brothas! :)

Have a good weekend everybody! :) Wishing you a lot of fabulosity and love through it all!

how freaky is it that my ipod shuffled to this song as i was crossing the bridge? lol

The Last Time

When laying with you I could stay there,

Close my eyes, feel you here forever,

You and me together, nothing gets better.

Well, I felt something die,
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time.

Love isn't always enough :|

242: 10 Random Joshy Facts

Hello Blog! Hello people-who-are-actually-reading-this-blog (you guys are awesome-possum!)

I have just awaken from my post-exam coma! Wootz. Awesome to able to get some quality afternoon naps (temporarily, cos the next and last paper is in 6 days' time). Today's paper was manageable. Initially, I thought I nailed it. Then, I realised 'walaaoooeh, so many silly mistakes!' So yeah, now hoping for the best I guess! :) So close to graduating!

Firstly, today's date in some numerical arrangement is 11022011! Whoa! Cool? A bit la, right?

I donno why. But this morning, as I was trying to fall asleep, I starting thinking of random facts about myself. Err. [(And I can function on very little sleep!) I have no idea what triggered that train of mind. Ah well I am here now, documenting this random quirky brainwave activity down and postponing studying.

So here are 10 random facts about the guy whose blog you're reading [in no particular order of importance]:

1. I am an only child.

Cool? Fun? Spoiled beyond comprehension? THINK AGAIN! My family's rather typical hence I had a typical childhood growing up and I think they have nothing short of amazing. Dad's always been no nonsense, and his famous line was "Second best is never an option." Something I hold close to my heart these days, but I'm taking it along the lines of 'Do your best!', though it was clear he meant something far from that.

Ah ha, you know? This puzzled me for the longest time: Whenever people asked my parents why didn't they try for another child. Their answer (automatic at times) would be, "Oh cos we learn from our mistakes!" Good laugh? :|

2. I never planned to pursue Medicine.

More or else, I kinda figured out I wanted to do something closely to Chemistry cos I totally fell in love with the subject. Top it up with an inspiring teacher (in college) who was more like a big sister totally revved me up. Once, I wanted to be some chemical engineer who moonlights as a indie rockstar. But I guess life is a rollercoaster ride that always throw surprises at you. I am happy now though - now I can't imagine doing anything else, okay maybe I still harbour those rockstar fantasies! :P

3. I was the President of the Student Council. In highschool, college and clinical school.

Yup 3 times! Guess it shows how much of a power-hungry control freak I am? Haha I totally have no intention of being a politician. (Ptuiiii!) I just wanted to bring some positive change to the campus(es). And yeah, to entertain my world-dominating imaginations too. Sikit-sikit lah.

4. I was am a cheerleader in medschool.

You can take the boy out of cheerleading, but you can never take the cheerleader out of the boy! Haha yeah I love it lots! And hey, we were the competitive type ok. I am usually the base, lifting up the dainty petite girls into crazy high formations. But for a routine, I was the flyer (cos of my height I guess)! Needless to say my change in roles didn't last long. Compare joshy to a typical 40+kg girl? Surely easier to lift the chick! Shucks, we never did really live up to the b*tchy part though! EVEN AFTER WINNING THE GOLD MEDAL! See we are nice Cheerios!

5. I am pretty flexible.

Oops! Did it mislead you? I mean I am quite bendy. Err I mean I am trained in yoga & pilates. Yes yes. That's what I meant. But yeah you can catch me in compromising, err I mean contorted positions. Again, I love it to bits! Need to lose weight and be hottie joshy yo!

6. I am a pathological bookbuyer. [NON-MEDICAL BOOKS!]

I syok syok I see a nice book cover then I will buy it, off the shelf, just like that! Haha surely I will flip to the back and look at the synopsis, flip and read a few pages off first. But seriously, I am super compulsive at bookbuying, gosh! For the past 4 years, I have bought close to 200 books but only found the time to read like what? 50 from that amount? Due to my quickly expanding book collection, I am purchasing more and more bookshelves (from Ikea nonetheless). AND I AM STILL BUYING BOOKS! I think I might just have some sort of unlisted psychiatric disorder :(

7. I had dyslexia in childhood.

Literally the letters and numbers rearrange themselves as they fancy. They move around and do cuckoo shit. So yeah, everybody thought I was retarded until much later when I was clinically assessed to have a learning disability. But hey, I MADE IT TO MED SCHOOL, and am almost done with it! Phew!

8. I have >90 ties in my wardrobe.

Frankly, I am against physicians wearing neckties. SOURCE OF NOSOCOMIAL INFECTION YO! This has been proven time and time again in countless medical studies. And heck, many other countries have actually forbidden/discouraged more like it their doctors to wear ties! Even Singapore I think! But here, due to some bureaucracy, we are bound by its rules. On another note, yeah I am obsessive-compulsive when it comes to my ties. Buy them superduper impulsively. Bad for my pocket! Obsessive cos I need to coordinate what I wear the night before, EVERY WORKDAY! Tie must match shirt, both must match socks. Which shoe to wear? Haha

9. I was also voted Himbo of the Class. For the past 3 years!

Hey! I take it as a compliment okay? Himbo = dress well! HAHA! But seriously my mouth is pretty laser and no holds barred especially if you're working with me! Joshy = Bitchy. No bitchy Joshy = Mati Joshy.

Sadly though, I get complimented more often on my clothes than my competence. :|

10. I don't boil my own drinking water.

Cos the tap water quality in this housing estate is questionable! Not bluffing here! Oh how I miss the totallysweetrefreshingtapwaterfromtheScottishHighlands! So yeah now I resort to bottled Spritzer/Dasani/Tesco water. Another reason I am happy to leave this town for good in 2 weeks time, provided that I pass this exams lah!

Aite you guyz! Gotta hop off to dinner with my classmates and then to groupstudy! Next week's last paper is a huge gargantuan MUSTPASSORDIE kinda thingamajig. So some anxiety and panic is in order.

Hmm should I tag people for this random post of mine?

Haha I will take a blind shot and just list the last 4 readers who commented already?

1. Calvin of Strictly Gay

2. Medie of Medielicious

3. Vin of What Lurks Beneath

4. Tuls of I was a TULS

No obligations y'all! And yeah, HAVE A FANTABULOUS WEEKEND ALRIGHT? I have mine all lined up (with La Famiglia of course!)

241: Song Meme

I should be studying (exams in 10 hours HAHA... but i am a major bum)... aihh Final Professional Exam already. how time flew by.

anyways, as another way to destress myself (mulut aje stress, tak rajin ulangkaji pun, been facebook/youtubing the whole day), I am gonna do this meme by (Lord) Calvin of Strictly Gay. [sounds so aristocrat-ish kan kan kan?)

1. What's your current favourite song?

Turning Tables (Adele, 21)

2. Name a song that makes you happy.

1234 (Feist, The Reminder)

3. Name a song that reminds you of someone.
A Moment Like This (Kelly Clarkson, American Idol): My 1st BF (awww, sob-moment now!)

4. Name a song that makes you cry.

Lovesong (Adele, 21 or the original The Cure version, Disintegration)

5. Name a song that makes you wanna dance to.
Who's That Chick (David Guetta feat. Rihanna, One More Love)

6. Name a song that no one would expect you to love.

Bukan Cinta Biasa (Dato' Siti Nurhaliza, E.M.A.S.)

7. Name a song that you used to love but now hate.

Parachute (Cheryl Cole, 3)

8. Name a song that you listen to when you’re sad.

Good Life (OneRepublic, Waking Up)

9. Name a song that you want to play at your funeral.

Who Am I (Casting Crowns, self-titled album)

10. Who is your current favourite solo artist?

Adele (too obvious? lol)

Such a beautiful song, with an awesome voice carrying it!

No idea why only so few people have heard of this Grammy winner? :(

p.s. oh yeah, I don't tag people for memes one la, cos well nobody reads this blog anyway HAHA!

Ciaoz peepz! And wish me luck for my survival through this exams keh! really OMGWTFBBQKNS-worthy! :S

What I Have Been Doing

... for the past 24 hours (plus/minus some doze time)!

Graphjam.com and FailBlog HAHA... funny sial!

HAHAHAHA!

Part 2 of my Finals tomorrow. Wish me luck for this 'musical chairs' paper!

Damn it, i am sleepy already! Blame it on the charsiew+chicken rice lunch!

(Tee-)Shirts

And no, I am not a black girl about to "take her lingerie off" HAHA!

I know I can get quite the bitchy when it comes to fashion. You were the willing victim listener, for the longest time.

Remember how you used to nag me to wear t-shirts/tanks you bought for me?

How you've always said they keep you close to my heart when I have them on?

..... I have (subconsciously) been wearing them for the past few days. How I wish you were here instead. Booooo!

oh the irony!

i was just revising on the topic of "Migraine" this morning and tadaaa... i feel a headache coming on.

like WTFFFFFF right?

[okeh, back to bed now!]

yesterday

... was a relatively SHINGZZZ (godawful!) day! mentally traumatic to say the least. don't ever wanna relive the horrors again.

so i reluctantly returned to this hellhole town (thank goodness i am leaving for good in 3 weeks time!) late last night and had a pseudo-reunion supper with some friends. with the help of lemonade and booze, for sure.

i was originally skeptical about the drinking. but one guy says EH IT HELPS ME STUDY LEH! and note my desperation, i was ready to try anything and it's free booze. so what the hell!

yes we drink booze even though it's 4 days to the biggest exam ever in med school! AH HAH!

we drank, and studied, laughed at lame jokes... and was facebooking on our respective laptops. many apologies to people i disturbed on facebookchat/msn! remember, joshy is not accountable for things he says under the influence of alcohol!!!

we even resorted to comparing whose biceps were the hugest! HAHAHAHAHA okay lah, I DIDN'T FINISH LAST PLACE, good enuff for now!

i don't really recall what happened or what time things settled down. last i checked the clock it was 4am plus plus and i was dozing off.

one guy, the famous alcoholic, asked me, "joshy, why are you single again?"

i was like, "fook you! (this part i didnt say out loud!)... THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL A VIRGIN?" hahahahaha

then i think i went comatosed.

though i remember vaguely somebodysomebody called me and i answered and but i dono what i said. so again,

"joshy is not accountable for things he says under the influence of alcohol!!!"

... this morning i woke up on the sofa, "eh where is my teeshirt leh?"

*aaaaahhhhhhhhh my modesty was outraged when i loss consciousness!

sighs :|

oh well. bummer.

stress makes me slutty!

ARGHHH only my university has the bad sense (or rather, EVIL EVIL EVIL idea) of having exams during Chinese New Year... like look at the demographics PLEASE!

This is NOT the first time this has happened to me! Cis!

5 years of med school in one exam (4 papers lah) - can you imagine how it's driving some people completely mad?

Oh well, I have more or else decided that I am not letting some crazy sadist induce misery in me and miss out on spending quality time with my family and friends in celebration of the new spring (corny yes?)

SCREW YOU, GOLD MEDAL! SCREW DISTINCTION!

Cukup makan pass, can already lah... for now?

But still gotta revise lah... Heck, I am even snapping photos with my textbooks wei! On the verge of going cuckoo.

So anyways, last night I had pseudo-reunion dinner, in conjunction with CNY lah, with my closeR friends. Following that, we went somewhere, opened a few bottles of malt and got high laughing at YouTube videos.

Speaking of which: LOOK AT THIS!

Muahahahaa... Funneh sial! Okay moving on now.

By some hocus-pocus expecto patronum shit going on, in the beer probably, everybody was revved up to go home and study wor! (except me for sure, i wanted to sleep! but nehmind you study, i must study also!)

I went home, checked my MSN... and jeng jeng jeng!

Junior (straight, but wanted to suck my cock: from previous post): Let's call him JR.

JR: Whatcha doing?

Me: Studying lor.

JR: I can't study at home wei. Can I come over?

Me: Ok.

Jeng jeng jeng. He came over. Hopped into bed right next to me (cos I study on my bed lahhh!)

Study study study schtmudy....

Then I had to get something from his side of the bed. I turned, reached out for that highlighter. And we were facing each other. Total eye contact! (He said I got nice thick eyebrows worrr... ).

And lips... barely an inch apart.

Well, since imagination is the best gift (somebody wise and famous say one lah, so i follow aje)... let's say this song describes the events that followed the above prologue :)

Boys, you can be rest assured he wanted more than just a peek! :P

possible sexcapades?

let me get that for you? ;)

sometimes it's just surprising how out of the blue, one can get propositions for sex from the most unlikely people, at unlikely places at unlikely times.

so in the past week, I have had:

a senior (my gaydar malfunctioned when he's around) wanted to have 'camfun' with me on MSN. (whoa whoa whoa... hold on to your horses, cowboy!)

a (straight) junior 'fessed up that he's curious about sucking (my?) dick. *wink wink*

a pharmacist offered to give me the blowjob of my life! (seriously? i have had some awesome ones. hard to beat!)

a (straight) classmate wanted ME to give him a blowjob. (but I'm not into bears lah!)

LOL my best guess is it's cos of my new pair of pants - totally rocking it! :P my junk and all the goodies yang sewaktu dengannya. *shy face*

or was it my perpetually naughty-horndog facies going on, without me realising it?

do i look so easy?

.....

............

but honestly, i haven't taken up any offers lah. good boy here, kwai kwai stay @ home and study only. INCLUSIVE of weekends!

feeling totally like a reborn virgin. (YES, it's been thaaaaaattttttt longgggggg!)

boy, am i tempted or what!

so if and when it does happen, it will be...

hell hath no fury!

KANASAIIII!!!

Stupid stupid smelly pussy person woke me up at a godforsaken time (anything >1 hour prior to class is wayyyy too early for me to wake up!) TO ASK FOR THE TIME AND VENUE FOR CLASS! and then WANTED TO CHAT SOMEMORE!

"eh today got revision class ah?"

"huhhh uhhh huhhh... got i think." (still groggy from a long night!)

"where ah?" (bitch! our tiny campus has only one auditorium/big lecture theatre lah!)

"the LT lo. we got daily reminders on classes in the email and sms what."

*annoying giggles* "you notchet wake up ah?"

"i was planning to sleep till right before class." (oiii you disrupted my beauty sleep somemore can giggle giggle!)

"what class is it anyway? who's teaching?"

"Psychiatry. Dr. S"

"I think he's depressed. HAHAHA!" (yes she laughed!)

"Huhhhhh...."

"You don't think he look sad meh? Nehmind. Later I borrow book, use your library card can ah?"

BBEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! Warraooo eh! Hang up on me lidatt summore!

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Walaooooeehhhh, damn kacau lah this person!

Who do you think you are eh, woman! Only talk to me when you don't need favours and then show me pissy face ALL THE TIME!

[p.s. addendum: there was once during our exam week, she was late for the long clinical case exam. her examiner was already there and was hunting for her. so i called to check on her. then she BEEPED before we finished the conversation. thennnnn jeng jeng jeng, she walked into the ward and gimme bitchfit face. WTF right!]

Now KACAU MY SLEEP! Somemore want to chit chat, talk cock and ask for this and that!

I have one thing to say to you! Read below:

So anyways, I went to class late but nehmind, the lecturer lagi LATER. Waste of time, should have slept in. HMPH!

Anyway, that kacau woman (cos i dont wanna use lagi vulgar words) didn't dare approach me cos apparently i had my death stare on the whole time (according to the faghags).

started off the day being pissed but all is good after i had AWESOME YU YUN FUN (fishball noodles) for lunch! And slept through the rain... Syok!

Now back to studying... BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

How My Heart Behaves

We promised each other to let go.

The distance. The time. Our personal histories. All were part of a recipe for disaster.

Somehow we linger. Still linger in each other's lives.

I told myself that I will never attempt a long-distance relationship ever again. No repeat scar, thankyouverymuch.

For a little while, I thought I would be alone for the longest time. And then you came into my life.

And I was changed for good.

How fate drives us topsy-turvy and in no time at all, you were leaving on a jetplane to somewhere several time zones away. Who was I to hold you from your dreams? :(

I told myself. It's not meant to be. Just stay friends.

Funny how my heart behaves.

I still await your late night phone calls as we talk about our days and bitch about people around us. How you make me laugh (and you singing to me).....

Oh maybe you've got me addicted. It's almost like you were still here, holding me to sleep.

I thought I was moving on. Just me, myself and I.

Funny how my heart behaves.

You got it all afluttered again. When you uttered those 3 words, 8 letters.

And I am tipped off balanced.

WTF

Strange?

Hmm, is it strange that a gay guy like me, is seriously, seriously, seriously considering training in Obstetrics & Gynaecology?

Woman parts. Fingers into places where the sun doesn't shine. Tubes to visualise the introitus.

Oh my, how sensitive (and accurate) my finger tips are! Must be a sign! Haha

But but but... I like Critical Care Medicine & Surgery too!!! :(