Scene 1
Location: The living room
The Oprah Winfrey Show was on air.
And they were talking about "Gay men who got married to women."
I was reading the newspapers, when...
Mum: Why do men turn gay?
Me: Huh? Err, I don't think they just suddenly got sick of women and turned to men.
Mum: But why do homosexuals want to get married?
Me: Err... Umm... Maybe because they really love each other. Just like you and Daddy.
Mum: But how do they have sex?
Me: *jaw drops* Why are you asking me such questions?
Mum: I guess you would know.
This happens pretty often by the way.
By some supernatural alignment of the stars, I would always be there (somewhat uncomfortably), with my mother as some gay-related content is being aired on the TV, especially those very open-minded Taiwanese channels. (God knows why she watches them, she's like Banana)
Scene 2
Location: My room
I was lying on my bed, with Queer As Folk playing on my computer. Suddenly, my mum barged into my room, bearing clean laundry. And before I managed to close the Media Player...
Mum: *pointing at the monitor* What are you doing, watching such shows? Homosexual pornography uh?
(The screen was showing Brian Kinney and Justin erm feeling each other)
Me: It's a TV series okay? People in America actually watch this on TV. *defensive tone*
Mum: So gay.
Me: So??? (Hey, I was shocked okay? How to respond?)
Mum: Just don't let me catch you messing around like those two! *leaves the room*
Scene 3
Location: The garden, by the living room
Here I sat, yakking on the phone with a friend. Minding my own business. *poof* Mummy dearest appeared out of nowhere.
Mum: Why are you talking on the phone for so long? Who is it on the other side?
Me: It's David. He's having a bad day. (Sort of told stuffs about him to her, only the platonic stuffs)
Mum: Why are the two of you always calling each other?
Me: *groans*
Mum: Like boyfriends only. [I wish]
Me: Aiyo, you ah! *turns away and continues chatting*
Mum: Don't care if you like boys or girls or both, you have to give me grandchildren. You know that!
Me: I'm only 20, Mum. Ain't it too early to pressure me to produce offsprings?
*awkward silence*
Mum: Well if he really likes you, let David do all the calling. Save up on your call charges. It's escalating monthly. *gracefully drifts away into the background*
I sat there. Stunned.
I don't know if I should really officially tell her that I like guys. Or if she already knows.
Man, this is confusing.
Yet, I am glad to some extent. She can react so funnily. =)
I think... My Momma Rockz!
15 comments:
well, you fed off her nutrients for 9 months, don't you think she has a special connection with you?
Mothers have a darned sixth sense, I tell you.
Too bad my mom is not around me often enough to get the signs/clues - still asking "Do you have a gf?" :(
Happy Mother's Day!
Uh... Ah... Ih... Eh... Oh...
Wow... I don't know what to say...
I like the part "I don't care if you like girls, or boys, or both, just get my grandchildren." Wakakaka. :P
I am surprised at ur mothers' reaction!!!! SHE KNOWS. There is no way she would say stuff like that if she didn't know...u have a cool mum....i mean i think she tactly accepts it already...i dun think u should tell her officially...i mean just let things be...i think its better not to say everything out but to have an unspoken understanding b/w the 2 of you...just my thoughts anyway:)
ur mum is way much cooler than mine... mine actually lectured me when i spoke to andrew on line... urrghhh
Your mom SO knows! Haha. She's got such classic lines too: Well if he really likes you, let David do all the calling. Fit for TV, I tell ya.
And hey, we bananas do enjoy open-minded Taiwanese shows. Shows how open-minded we really are ;)
Goshhhhhhh!!!!! ur mum's reaction were soooooo interesting and funny!!!
well, i think she's sort of KNOWS lo, but good that she's taking it kinda not-so-crying-all-my-fault-dramaty
let ur bf do the call bit was oh soooo witty!!!
You're right. That's kinda weird. Think she has an idea though.
Paul
heh they say mothers always know! i'm sure mine doesn't.. even though she does say things like "why don't you go decide on the flower decoration - it's your sort of thing" or "you're so camp" or "you know why girls will never like you..?"
But babe, you've got a bright future ahead - grr wish I was 20 again! (not that many yrs past it..... but does feel a looong time ago)
Wah... Your mum is cool... LOL
Wonder how my mum will react when she finally finds out about me and my boy... :|
Your mom knows, and she's sort of okay with it (but she still hopes for babies).
Tell her you'll adopt one. And asks her if she thinks Dominic Lau's a good match for you.
And what the HELL are you doing watching pseudo-porn without locking the room door?!
Zeem, she swore she picked me up from some garbage dumpsite! Yes, she said that to freak me out when I was a toddler.
Defiant85, yeah I also donno what to say man.
HC, good point there. I wonder how would she react when I am older, all my cousins are coming out with babies on a regular basis.
Searcher, she should know you are NOT attracted to any guy you talk to right? Are you? Kidding.
WS, you don't know how much she identifies with TV. She's a real life 'Bree Van de Kamp', minus the AA part.
Xavier, she MADE me put on makeup even for violin performances years back. I am forever scarred.
And I wish I could proclaim David as my BF.
Paul, I am trying to avoid such awkward conversations to my utmost ability.
Calvin, she is soooo CINA ok? There's like a age standard for her. Okay, when you are XX age, you MUST do this and this... and by XX, you have to 'get married and have 2 kids' blablabla
Canardbidon, mine also got quirky lines. "Why you wearing pink? Why you wearing so tight? Why you exposing your underwear (over your pants?"
Will, are you offering Dom to me now? Cos I will jump at the very glimpse of that opportunity!
The door's lock is pretty loose, malfunctioning etc. Note to self: Get that DAMNED lock fixed!
trust me, a mother knows. and she knows even before you figure it out for yourself. i swear...
ur mum is absolutely ... ur mum ... super duper cool. my mum wud pengsan n my dad wud disown me. they wont know unless i wear like a queer. no wonder i got no bf wakakaka. hope ur not spelling disaster for wat she said.
The funniest thing about your post is that you say she might know. Of course she knows!
Oh hell ya! She definitely rocks!
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