Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Lost in Translation

So yesterday, I found myself, driving Mummy Dearest and two other aunts on a roadtrip to Bahau, Negeri Sembilan (somewhere in the core of Central Peninsular Malaysia). They wanted to visit some long-lost elderly relative.

I swear I never even knew the place existed prior to the trip.

The route there was extremely winding and tricky. I even saw ferocious-looking monkeys (apes?) by the sides of the road. Scary. But miraculously, by some twist of luck or rather my mum's impeccable memory (her last visit here was over 25 years ago), we found the relative's house.

Naturally, all the 'aunties' (my mum included) started recollecting the past, sharing grandmother stories and some catching up.

Relative: Eh I last saw you before you went overseas to study right? Where you studied ah?
Mum: I went to Columbia University.
Relative: COLOMBIA? There they have very famous coffee hor? Cheap or not?

*faints*

After clearing things out with her that Columbia and Colombia are not one and the same...

Relative: Ohhhh, so what did you study there?
Mum: I did a degree in Biology.
Relative: BUY-A-LOJI*??? (loji = plant in Malay) Wah you very expert now in buying loji-s ah? I never knew needed to go to university to buy them. So how many loji-s you have now???
Mum: No, auntie... Biology is the study of animals, plants and humans. The science of living things... *and she went to elaborate...*

And somehow the topic switched to me...

Relative: Wah your son so like giant already. So big boy. (gasp!) What's his name?
Mum: Some call him Joshua.
Relative: JOS-HUA? CHO-HUA (make flowers? in Hokkien) Why la name him that? Want him to grow up become farmer or florist is it? Tsk tsk.

She must really hate me. =(

Relative: Your car so small. 4 people sit somemore. If somebody farts, you all sure faint and collapse. Then how?

24 comments:

Queen B said...

ROTFLMAO!!

i hate being with lame relatives~ *sigh

Sam said...

Someone needs a new hearing aid. :P

It's like that with all our old relatives lah, I think. Even mine does that sometime. :)

Little Prince said...

she's hilarious. haha.
without her, ur day would have been, normal.

Kenji said...

Hahaha! You got owned by your aunt... But yes, I have yet to meet any old old old OLD relatives... At least it was funny though with her? :P

There's lots of places in Malaysia la... Just when you thought you've been to everywhere, suddenly this new place pops up... I doubt I know all of KL too!

nase said...

that was hilarious and I think the relative is one with a funny character with no malicious intent. wow, I so admire your mom, Biology degree holder!

Medie007 said...

there's 2 doctors in the car, i'm sure syncopy is easy to manage. LOL

Anonymous said...

LOL... Nothing like roadtrips to visit long-lost relatives, hehe.

Interesting innit, being "renamed" by someone with a rather imaginative ear? :P

^^WiLLY LaM^^ said...

it's hilarious LOL

Twilight Man said...

Joshua, I thought we are relatives coz mine talked craps too. The real monkey on the road side could have been my 5th aunt. LMAO...

Chris said...

Ur relatives so cute~~

Anonymous said...

buy a loji then make kopi ha~ so now you anak taukenio ha~

ichimaru akira said...

hahaha,poor u.

Yeah,i had to stuck with relatives like that every raya season, so sian

.:: Ant ::. said...

It's official, we shall name you "Big Boy" now onwards.

+Ant+

Glog said...

What kinda of relatives do you have la?

OMG... I can faint if I am there!
(No Farting needed)

Pike-chan said...

HAHAHAHAHA.. i think yr relatives are very funny... perhaps very down to earth kinda person.

Anonymous said...

O_O

haha no wonder la. it's all in the genes. HAHAH

CHO-HUA!

Jason said...

man.. that was a good laugh.. almost burst out laughing in the office..

Anonymous said...

Yerr...why so funny one that aunty? How is she related to your mother? And what do you call her?

cYiD said...

OMG, hilarious...
yeah, your day would have been and ordinary boring day without all that! =)

joshua said...

Gaga, haha I can't say I hate her lah... she is quirky.

Sam, but this one takes the cake.

SLP, without her, my day would have been normal, yes, but I can save the 4 hours of 'prancing in the woods'.

Kenji, lol suddenly I feel like a 'katak di bawah tempurung'

Nase, lol yup! and yeah, my mum's a Wow-deserving personality in so many more ways. A waste she didn't use her degree. She ended up in Marketing.

Medie, what 2 doctors? there were NONE!

Kenny, sure indeed.I forgot to ask her what her grandchildren are named as...

joshua said...

Willy, I agree.

Twilight, you are related to a monkey? HAHAHA

Chris, lol yeah she is. But I think my whole family is.

Nic, haha my mum memang taukenio from the start haha

Ichi, this aunt really pwned all the rest, I am telling you!

Anton, Big in what sense? HAHA

Glog, haha she is a mega drama queen as well...

barong, wait, she is NOT related to you is she?

jase, you were at the office till soooo late at nite? hugs hugs

Calvin, I think she is my grandma's cousin or something. I call her "Ah Poh" like I call so many other elderly women. HAHA

cyid, that's true.

Anonymous said...

hahaha.. thats very funny!!

Anonymous said...

er. why would she be related to me -_-

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

She sounds kinda bitchy to me...