Quote & UnKuote: Look Who's Watching

What’s the difference between gossip and scandals?

So glad you asked. KLL Forever!

Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day’s worth of fuzz. But in order for gossip to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be in the wrong place.

My life is soooo drama lah. Aiyoyo… like Gossip Girl like that only…

I was awoken abruptly this morning to the meowing of a cat; with a text message on my celly from Nic, an old friend.

Nic: Hey you were at D’lish Midvalley at 9.05 p.m. last night right? With some cute twink. Scandalous.

Me: Err where got? [still groggy from insufficient sleep]

Nic: Don’t bluff.

Me: *I was tapau-ing 50% OFF stuff with Tim after dinner*
Oh sorry. I meant, where got cute? [Haha… Don’t kill me, Timmy boi]

Nic: Aren’t twinks just your type?

Me: KNNCCBSK! If you saw me, why you didn’t say Hie? Anyways, aren’t you back in Penang?

Nic: I was not there la.

Me: Then how you know I was there ah?

Nic: You were spotted. By someone.

Me: Who? I have a stalker?

Nic: That’s a secret I’ll never tell.

Me: You B*tch! WTV okay!

But deep down inside, I was like… WHAAAATTT? Am I turning into Serena van der Woodsen here? OMGawd…

So later in the day, after gym… [in fact just a few hours prior to me blogging]

I got a call from W (cos her name sounds, well, organ-related).

W: Eh you back to instructing? I heard you were hot on stage today. Faking macho huh, you whore!

Me: WHAAAATTTT? *ten octaves too high* [and I noticed I was still in the locker room and some of the guys were looking at me one kind. *cough cough*]

W: One of my amazing spies caught you in action. If you didn’t want people to find out, like, if that’s ever possible!, you could at least go incognito (like 7 a.m. class). This is KL, not some small town in the middle of nowhere.

On the downside, they though you were a noobie.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

*Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. W, another diver… She can laugh for a minute or even longer, in a single breath. Like I wanna tell her, go do SCUBA or something.*

Me: What laaah...

W: Get your act together dude. You know you're nobody until you're talked about. People are watching.

Like WOE is happening. [WOE = what on earth!] It has intensified. I have received some other updates about what I did for the past week. I shall spare you the details.

I may be a lot of things but scandalous I am not. Oh, what’s a boy to do?

And this is what Jim had to say to console me when I expressed my shock at the turn of events:

The rules are different for your kind in this world. People expect YOU to party, be wild, sleep with whoever you want to, run away, come back and mess up over and over again.

And when you got hitched to that ‘ever ever after’ BF of yours, YOU became B.O.R.I.N.G.

Can’t blame them for wanting MORE, can we?

Oh rightttt.... Hummph! No thanks for the love across the South China Sea, J.

David: “Remember, remember what happened down under! In Singapore.”

Mei: “Don’t we all? We will wait to see more unfolding in this saucy story” *nudge nudge*

Thanks D and M. Oh gawd. Pleaseeeee….

For the record, my friends are obviously not offering good advice.

Dear Person/People, [way too sensitive about my doings and whereabout]

I am honoured? But why me? Me no have me own gopher squad also. Find someone else okay, hun? Mucho love*

‘Cos true friends stab you in the front.

P.S. Now you know why I don’t like going out that much.

P.S.S. I hope this isn’t real. And I shall brush this off as me being oversensitive.

And well, I don't want to spoil it for you. You'll just have to wait and see for yourself. But trust me, it's going to be good.