as i drive there in the mornings, i have wondered out of boredom - can i get broadband here? will there ever be a mall in this town? LOL but i can get mobile internet on my cellphone though. ah Facebook is still within reach!
the journey there is quite scenic and picturesque. sometimes when i wake up early enough (on time, i mean) i can actually see the sun rise from the eastern skies.
and godsaveme, it's an hour long drive each way.
anyways, i like the hospital. it's small, less staff, less patients, less busy hence people are less pissy.
however, i honestly dreaded this current module/block/posting i am doing cos i have always felt that i am not smart enough for it.
INTERNAL MEDICINE.
the standard textbooks span in the excess of 1000 pages each. possibly comprising of like 80% of all possible diseases from all organ and systems in the human body. to me its like an insurmountable peak, just on the verge of burying me in its base.
and it's exams week AGAIN next week! yup, Christmas week! what a wonderful time to get tortured. and i have been totally dozing my way through the past 3 weeks 'training' in this block.
and in a glimpse, we are reaching the end.
hence, we arrive to today.
a series of unfortunate events as follows:
1. i woke up nearly 20 minutes late. (should have just skived and slept at home!)
2. there was a huge 18 wheeler lorry in front of me (the road being a single-lane in each direction, i couldn't overtake it) causing me to be even more late.
3. some malfunction of my car door.
4. only upon arrival at the hospital did i realise i missed my early morning energy bar! (DAMMIT!)
5. i volunteered to venture into a separate ward from the ones my groupmates were in.
6. i impulsively started clerking the first patient i saw (i usually stroll about and wait for somebody to smile at me before i storm to talk to him/her, on sleepy days like this.)
7. the lecturer stormed into the cubicle while i was examining the patient to observe me.
8. he then said, okay we shall discuss your case with your groupmates and you demonstrate the examination to everybody!
DIEEEEEEEEEE!!! it was a neurological case. which is a system i am particularly weak in (partially cos i am half cuckoo to begin with)
hence i began to tremble and panic!
it began okay. i started saying a lot of general bulls*** that was not applicable to the patient to buy me time hahaha. (which he totally bought and was happy with!)
i began examining. and it all went downhill from there.
i reckon i performed all the required components. but i got criticised every other minute. *frowny face*
"do you think that looks professional?"
"perform each step in logical order. not just by rote memory."
"what you have just done is irrelevant"
"you are tapping, not swinging as you should"
"why did you miss this important sign?"
LOL but i wasn't demoralised or even insulted or hurt. cos he was very polite and nice when he commented on my errors. so it was really like a teaching-learning process. he was not the world's best motivational teacher but he was close.
so yes i was overly paranoid.
i can't be blamed. cos another consultant (that Savante may know!) drilled a colleague of mine to tears just yesterday morning.
today was a good day.
i was guided to elicit clinical signs i would have ever expected (to be able to do on my own!) and hear crazy sounds (funny murmurs) and got lucky at the accuracy of choosing antibiotics! Yay!
ahhh today just changed my take on this discipline: I don't hate Internal Medicine anymore!
But I will STILL never ever pursue it in my postgraduate path!!! (NEVER IN HELL!)
Being a HIV/Infectious Diseases Physician is high on my list of future training plans but due to it requiring preliminary training in many many many many years of Internal Medicine to begin with just killed it for me. Blerrrghhh!
Wish me luck for my exams next week! I am this close to the big one in February.
[Oh hell, I am partying this weekend away... How now brown cow?]
2 comments:
prof stormed into our ward too this morning and asked us to show her the patients there but we werent informed there was a class! DIE...
till this day, i m still at a loss when it comes to neurology.
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