Things to Do with a Hose

Snapped this intriguing diagram at the Masjid Jamek Star LRT Station toilet, a few weeks back. I was like "OoOo...."

[Click the picture for a larger view]

Now, is it just me or the notice isn't just teaching proper toilet etiquette? Hmmm...

Shooot!

School of 'Gifted' Boys

Located in the legendary Notroh Woods, a land exuding boundless mystical energy and where freedom and equality is a born right for everyone... a brand new institution of 'education' has been founded.

The School of 'Gifted' Boys stands out as a university for young men with attraction to their own kind. The school strives to produce quality (gay) men, prepared to go out and colour the outside world, with a tinge of pink!!!

Subjects Offered:

• “Queer Sex 101” – by Principal (& Founder) Defiant & Prof. Apollo David
• “Skanky Management” by Principal Defiant
• “Gay Education in Chinese” by Prof. Apollo David
• “Introduction to Fabulousness” by Chancellor Xavier Sean
• “Getting Hit On – Do’s and Don’ts” by Chancellor Xavier Sean
• “Staying Beautiful” by Dean Alexander
• “Chic & Finesse for the Homosexual” by Dean Alexander
• “Balance Between Queeny and Machoism” by Provost Joshua
• “3G – Gym & Gay Guys” by Provost Joshua

More subjects and courses will be added to the list as we continue to endeavour in efforts to expand the faculty with more world-class and experienced staff.

Note: All “Practical Examinations” will be carried out periodically by the honourable Principal.

Common compulsory papers include “Surviving a SALE!”, “Safe Sex or NO Sex” and “Gay Courtships”.

Facilities & Services Provided:

• Free condom dispensers on campus
• Unlimited bandwidth to download and access “educational material” from the web.
• Soundproof “laboratories” and private tutorial rooms.
• Guaranteed personalised attention catered to by the respective tutors.
• Entertainment available in the form of a world-class gymnasium (with GX classes of course!) and a club reminiscent of the famous LQ! (no boobies to block the view!)
  

Our varsity culture:

• Our body is our temple.
• We keep ourselves in peak physical, mental and sexual condition.
• We are warriors in the battle against unglam and boring lifestyle.
  
• We will champion safe sex.
• We can change the world by creating change in our own backyard.

Invited Guest Lecturers en route:

• Prof. Wee Shiong on “Bendy Boys” & “Vanity & Humility”
• HRH Wingedman on “Survival among Mingers” & “The Gaydar”
• Dr. Paul on “Erotic Literature” & “Man Studies”
  
• Derek ‘The Godfather’ on “Accepting Yourself” & other counselling subjects
  
• YBhg Pakcik on “Get Yourself a Hot Bod!” & "Size Matters"
  

Come join us now and be eligible for an 'Early Cock Bird' welcoming gift; consisting of a 'one-year's-supply-of-pleasuring-lubricant'!!!

Truth

Truth is incontrovertible, ignorance can deride it, panic may resent it, malice may destroy it, but there it is.


What does a boy do when he is chronically diagnosed with Severe Acute LazyAss-ness? Type in a favourite wise sentence from someone very-dead, of course.

Addendum: The person who I quoted in this post is none other than Sir Winston Churchill. I forgot until I Google-d it. Also, thanks to sweetie weeshiong for the reminder.

This blog is named "Quote & UnKuote" anyways.

P.S. It's Quote & UnKuote, with a 'K' there. Now, don't get me all hissed up to throw a fit with such a minor typo, yaw?

That's What Friends Are For

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today and then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Ohh That's what friends are for

Whoopsie! Sorry lar... I am at a total lost of things to blog about. Hence, you people will just have to be satiated with the lyrics from a Dionne Warwick classic. Make do make do-lah, for the time being!

Cos That's What Friends Are For...

I was...

In Ipoh on Thursday. Wheee!!! Haven't dropped by this quaint city for more than a year. I was prepared to see major changes. Imagine my shock when it looks... totally the same!

It was pretty enjoyable speeding driving along the PLUs expressway in the wee hours of the morning. Minimal traffic, low chance of running into the traffic police. Hehe

Me brought LX to the oh-so famous Foh San Restaurant for Dim Sum. A very late breakfast, it was. Brunch, LX calls it. Both of us were so famished that we gobbled up all the food; forgetting to camwhore the food. Hence, all you see here are the dirty dishes. Also, the hand of the auntie who deliberately collected them when I was so obviously taking pictures. Hmmph!

Drinks we had for dinner. Luscious Lips, for LX and Magnolia Ugly for moi. [Take a double at both of us and you'd notice how the drinks suited our respective appearances] They weren't so gastronomically-pleasing afterall. Expensive fruit juices, if you ask me. Hmmph!

The best part of the meal. Ze appetiser: Salmon with Honeydew Slices. Very ori punya recipe. It came with my set meal but LX stole had some of it. That boi has such luscious lips, resistance is futile, so cincai la let him eat a bit. *sinister laughter* The garnishings were mighty ugly though. Ugh. Hmmph!

Desserts galore! The Apple Cinnamon Brownie for me and LX had Cherry Crumble (far end). I initialy thought Cherry Crumble sounded "Eww!". And I am having too many pervy thoughts ignited by the very enunciation of the 'cherry' word, as many would attest to! As it turns out, the cherry thingy tasted better than my wrinkled apple. Need to 'pop another Cherry Ripe' right now. Hmmph!

Guess what we found in a bookstore in OMG-so-effing-boring Ipoh Parade? Yup, a translated Bahasa Melayu version of moviebook. Kenang-kenangan = Memoirs? Geddit? ROTFL... FYI, it's thicker than the original, in English.

Yes, Ipoh Parade is literally pronounced as Sad Excuse for a Shopping Mall. Likewise can be said for Kinta City, but it reminds me of a baby-wannabe of One Utama. For it has free parking, I proclaim it passable.

I am mean. But honey, Ipoh is seriously devoid of eye-candy for faggoty crowds. Sitting at Starbucks (yeah, they got one here!) trying to ogle at guys ah, you'd see more uncles and aunties strolling. I won't even wanna dwelve into how the young 'uns here dress. Hmmph!

But hmm, in retrospect, maybe I was just completely distracted by someone?

I say...

Worrying too much about what is happening in the world outside your own is wrinkle-inducing. [ among other skin problems ]

MYOB will help save up on facial therapy, duncha' think?! ?


From my luscious lips...

I can't be concerned with all that talk
I won't be involved
That's my word
See I'm not the one
They got me confused
They got me messed up
Don't you think I've had enough?
When they don't know one thing about
Instead they just running their mouths
So all we do is tune them out

Joshy's Poetic Side

As I am unwell and recuperating involves a lot of tossing and turning in bed, I have had a lot of thinking done. Not about sex lah. These days I no longer need to fantasise about action. *winks*
I am so rotting. The pills aren't really helping much.

So what were my neurons going hyper-active over? Literature, baby. Refined moi coming back to shine!

Although this may not be helping me to be a respected writer...

If it's yellow,
Let it mellow.
If it's brown,
Flush it down.

I don't even know where the inspiration came from.

Gold...

I went to Tesco today. To buy milk.

Needless to say, with my reputation as a chronic shopaholic, I failed to leave the hypermarket with only milk.

“PROMOTIONAL PRICE” ONLY RM2.19!!!

I was drawn to it like some fly to the oil-lamp. With almost similar consequences. Sure cannot run away. It then hit me. Apparently, not only the omnipotent four-letter word pulls my strings.

What was the product in the limelight? PEPSI GOLD.

Oh no, another derivative of Pepsi? Haven’t we got enough? They never learn, do they? All this fancy hokey-pokey in futile attempts to re-generate interest in the Pepsi brand. If I remember correctly, they were all short-lived, save for Pepsi Twist.

Honestly, who gives a heck about Pepsi Fire & Ice? The obvious over-abuse of food colouring notwithstanding? And does anyone recall Pepsi Tarik? Yucks… reminiscent of the layman’s cough syrup. Ugh. I nearly drowned the person who convinced me to buy that damned bottle of poison.

Anyways, back to Pepsi Gold.

First impressions matter. I initially thought it depicted hints of concentrated urine. Of a guy who needs more cooling herbal tea in his diet.

Not that aesthetically pleasing. Not the least golden, to me.

[Side note: Just realised this may actually be miscontrued as some sexual fetish-y act]

To buy or not to buy?

I even called LX, “Eh, heard of Pepsi Gold? Looks like piss. Should I buy?”

As I got home, I popped the cover and filled that gassy beverage into an ice-cold mug. Aah… it tasted like… well, Pepsi.

Surprise surprise!

Oh yes, I finished my fifth meal today with this.

-pic of a humongous Nestle MilkyBar-
[ damn geram, keep failing to load this file ]

Not that there was anything left of the 75g bar when I was finished with it.