What did I get myself into?

@#%&^*#@$

Guess what? I am already in university.

Tertiary education. Brand new, much-awaited phase in life (hardly something I anticipate noting me so lazy). Fresh start.

How on earth did I end up HERE??? In a sorta-semi-ulufied place with a shamefully small campus... in comparison... and with a weird housemate. An oddity, who just proclaimed to me (with his guest friend) is planning to have an entourage of str8 guys going to LQ next week. Hmm...

You know what I hate most? Being a freshman...

Why?

Cos juniors get bullied by seniors lor. And me prefers to be on the bullying side... as per usual.

ORIENTATION WEEK starts Monday. Ah the "excitement"!

Anyways, me started talking to ppl... Naturally I talk... like A LOT... of BIMBO-worthy things... But...

It's only like Week Zero on the Academic Calendar. And there are people so uptight and stressed out, having the overly-enthusiastic attitude of wanting to be on the Dean's List, being President of this club that club, wanting to get a minimum of straight As and other despicable kiasu acts... Goodness, we haven't been orientated yet. =(

I mean, rilek lah bradder... So stress what for, man?

So yeah, getting into a programme where MOST of the candidates are soooo particularly anal about grades and merely their textbooks... where do I fit in?

Will I even ever fit in? But shouldn't I have expected this in the first place? Was I too hasty bout this???

I don't know, as of yet.

In perspective, I am only human. And people usually get fearful and worry when we are put in unfamiliar circumstances.

Aaah... I met a guy who tutors a national athlete and is overly super-high achiever. And another girl who skipped like donno-how-many years of school... and is entering uni at 16!!! Oh, there's this really really really irritating guy who cannot stop talking about how he's only in our university cos he did not get accepted elsewhere (e.g. Cambridge, Oxford, Melbourne etc) despite his excellent grades and track record.



Here I stand, a mere tiny dwarf in a hall overflowing with giants.



Am I really ready for this???

I better be. I chose this route. So now, just Plug 'n Play!

(A look at the timetable for the semester and one shall faint)

Keranamu Kekasih

Kaulah segala-galanya
makna didalam hidupku
Detik ini telah lama sudah kutunggu
Hangat sentuhanmu
melerai rindu

Kasih, disini kuserahkan
Jiwa raga dan pengabdian
Cinta, untukmu segalanya
Demi untuk bersama
Dipangkuanmu kasih
Keranamu, kekasih

Seri cahaya matamu
Setulus perasaanmu
Aku tahu kita pasti akan bertemu
bertentang mata
gugurlah rinduku

Kasih, disini kuluahkan
Jiwa raga dan kasih sayang
Cinta, untukmu segalanya
Demi untuk bersama
Dihadapanmu kasih
Keranamu, kekasih

Kasih, disini kutunaikan
Sumpah janji dipertemukan
Sayang, untukmu kusatukan
Rindu dan percintaan
Dipelukanmu kasih
Keranamu, kekasih
Dipelukanmu kasih
Keranamu, kekasih...

A Question

Based on a true story...

Hmm... one fine day, two boyfriends were hanging out... under a tree *wink wink* when suddenly,

Guy A: Dear, you say that falling in love with me is like falling into a bottomless pit, right?
Guy B: Yeah. Cos my love for you grows deeper and deeper as each moment passes.
Guy A: But what if one day, you find that you've reach rock bottom of that pit?
Guy B: .....

What do you think happened next? Or rather, how did Guy B respond?

The answer will be revealed in due time. Put on your thinking caps yaw?

Three Things Bout ME

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Joshua
2. Joshy
3. THE Bitch

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. RicE (because I eat rice???)
2. Dyslexic Stud (puke all you want!)
3. Josh is Saviour (BWAHAHAHAHA- don't choke!)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Hair
2. NO eeky boobs!
3. NO pussy!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Acne (Ugh! So unglam ok!)
2. Waistline
3. The elusive washboard abs *sob sob*

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. China mari punya...
2. Jepun-nah
3. (unhealthy) Food?

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Starting University... being a freshman is no fun!
2. NO credit card...
3. Losing mommy

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Talk
2. SMS
3. Sing sing sing like silly himbo :P

THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. board shorts
2. fluorescent yellow tee
3. Erm... nothing else? Hehe

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (currently, anyway):
1. No Tomorrow - Orson
2. Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake
3. Buttons - The Pussycat Dolls

THREE BOOKS YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING:
1. SMSes on my phone... Lolx
2. Ikea catalogue
3. East of Eden - John Steinbeck

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. intellectual conversations
2. mutual respect and trust
3. great cuddler/kisser with a pinch of great sex

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I'm happy
2. I LOVE durian
3. My body can't take beef

(guess which is which! =P)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. megawatt smile
3. (squeezable) butt... OoO!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. according to the BF: it is sleeping too much(ONLY PARTLY true!!!)
2. splurging on good food
3. singing (in the car, in my room, in the hall, in school, at work, at shopping malls, on the phone, on MSN, in the LRT... the list goes on and on and on)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go to Ikea
2. get naughty with the BF
3. backpack around the continent that is Europe

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Violinist
2. Writer (obviously nobody would hire me if I ended up here)
3. Lawyer - I like arguing and scolding ppl

THREE JOBS PEOPLE EXPECT(ED) YOU TO TAKE UP:
1. Doctor... (cos I look like one? Muahaha)
2. Accountant (I refuse to count money which is NOT mine)
3. Porn director/producer/star (err...)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. London
3. Africa

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Jennifer
2. Ryan
3. Joshua

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE (at least, not immediately BEFORE):
1. Travel all around the world
2. Skydive
3. Make out with my Chad... Hehex

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. The way I pee
2. Having the sex drive as one
3. I love cars...

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I cry
2. I love shopping...
3. I bitch - a lot!

THREE FEMALE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Sophia Bush
2. Hilary Duff
3. Daria Werbowy

THREE FIVE MALE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Chad Michael Murray
2. Brad Pitt
3. Wang Lee Hom
4. Johnny Depp
5. Mike Shinoda

Guess who?

Okay people... JOSHY IS BACK! After a much-deserved holiday across the Peninsular, I am back home in sweet old Penang. Aah I never realised how much I missed home.

To sum it all up, I was travelling across 5 states, namely Penang, Perak, Pahang, Selangor and of course, Kuala Lumpur (cos I had to report to University for some boring stuff). Whoa! I didn't even realise I went to so many places. IT WAS FUN... wait, that's an UNDERSTATEMENT! *winks*

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my
two lovely guestbloggers for keeping this blog very much alive in my leave. So yupz, good job Zemien, the attention-whore and FYI, the anonymous fella is Wee
Shiong aka Mr. Drownedglass.

Jutaan penghargaan yang tulus ikhlas
buat saudara berdua.

I'm dead tired today... So short post la ok?

As I was driving to work after lunch, I saw a Kompressor explode and practically was drowning in flames at the Udini interchange (i.e. Tesco area). KA-BOOM!!! So exciting la... like some scene from some movie like that.

"Too Fast Too Furious XX: Penang Inferno" maybe?

The whole interior of the car was like BLACK... guess nobody got hurt la, me hopes! Didn't manage to snap any pics cos I was driving alone ma. And I very very safe motorist you know? You know?

But argh, like all Penangites, the drivers are kaypo, so a massive jam built up and that makes ...

ME NO LIKEY!

Later in the evening, I found myself back in the gym after a hiatus of erm 2 weeks? And you know what is the first thing the ppl there say to me?

"Josh, you gained weight ah?"

WHAAAAT!!! That makes me...

ME SUPER NO LIKEY!

I mean, you can start by saying "Hello, haven't seen you around for some time" or "How have you been?" or even "Where did you disappear to?" But NoOoOoo.... They chose to welcome me back by...

"Josh, you gained weight ah?"

No biggie, you assume? Gymgoers are usually image-conscious ma. Well, imagine this...

"(Insert your own name), you gained weight ah?"

Now replay that a dozen times.

P.S. I went for Nick Heng's BodyPump class today and OMG! I am like paralysed already. This is the price to pay for being too lazy to gym. I can't decide whether it was Nick's energy or my ego that kept me going. Well, highly likely the hugely-inflated ego lah.

In a totally unrelated event, I saw Jacelyn Tay (some Mediacorp actress from Singapura) having Char Koay Teow at the Pulau Tikus market.

Waaaahhhh!!! Celebrity sighting lor. I am star-struck, NOT! But it was definitely her. How would I know? Cos I saw her on AEC just yesterday... some 7pm series la. She looks very plastic... like some Cina Barbie doll like that.

What was I doing there?

Tapau-ing Char Koay Teow... Large one somemore. (after gym)

Shhh... Don't tell anyone orh! It's my 'secret weapon' to lose weight la...

A Charity I Can Finally Vouch For

(Today's post is brought to your by guestblogger Zemien)

Well, the pesky owner of this blog is returning soon so this will be my final guestpost. It's unfortunate I could only write 3 posts - I actually had more in mind (some regarding the pesky owner himself). I blame it on bad timing as my finals are next week. Imagine memorising this: "A major area of growth is the object frameworks and component software to work in distributed environments."

All together now... "Huh?"

So I'm certain you'll forgive me for not posting more skanky pictures of Chad in compromising positions. Having to bludgeon my brain into remembering sentences such as the one above kinda deactivates all my testosterones.

It has definitely been extra fun writing for a gay blog and I regret slightly my decision not to start one. But it's never too late, so I hope we'll meet again in my very own gay blog! ;)

---

I don't think you'll find the following article printed in any Malaysian newspapers, so I'd like to call upon the Malaysian AIDS Council (MAC) to organise something similar soon:

Charity wants people to lend a hand...
(phrases in bold are entirely my own emphasis)

LONDON (Reuters) - Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon," a leading British reproductive healthcare charity said Friday.

Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, Saturday.

"It is a bit of a publicity stunt but we hope it will raise awareness," a Marie Stopes spokeswoman told Reuters.

"We want to get people talking about safer sex, masturbation and to lift taboos."

Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need and can take part in four different rooms -- a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas.

However, the rules on the event's Web site states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms.

"The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve," the Web site said.

The Marie Stopes spokeswoman said local religious groups had been initially outraged, but after people had heard what the event was about, most had approved it.

Police had also given it their approval.

Similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years raising $25,000 for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention. If successful, Marie Stopes said it could take place elsewhere in mainland Europe next year.

The Problem with Chad

(Today's post is brought to you by guestblogger Zemien)

Uh oh. I can hear Joshy's blood starting to boil 500km away. But don't worry - good things come to those who tolerate me.

Now, I must admit I'm not a big fan of Chad. Now now, don't go revoking my Pink License yet! I've never watched One Tree Hill, and so the first time I saw his photo it was this:

I automatically thought, "Eew!" He has this dirty.... whats-that-word.... unwashed look! Yes, he looks downright juvenile and unwashed. Some guys dig that, but I don't (considering that I'm the ruler of all anal-retentive people).

So I didn't think much of him until I saw more aesthetically-pleasing photos of him like Joshy's icon itself:

At least he looks CLEAN in that photo.

As mandated by the owner of this blog, all guestbloggers are required to post at least ONE(1) photo of Chad Micheal Murray. However, since I'm such a nice guy who loves PLEASING other people (especially those with XY chromosomes) I'm putting up THREE(3) photos of Chad.

First stop: You've all seen Chad bald, but have you seen him with this hair?

His hair is practically screaming "Turn that industrial fan on and marvel at my well-conditioned hair!"

Then we have this photo with his usual hair:

(I'm just heading off to class in Notroh Woods... wanna join me?)

And finally, who can forget this delectable photo of him? (sigh...) If only High-Definition TV was invented earlier.

Old MacDonald Had a Gay Blog

(Today's post is brought to you by guestblogger Zemien)

Old MacDonald had a gay blog
Ee i ee i o
And on his blog he had some hunks
Ee i ee i o
With a kiss-kiss here
And a bite-bite there
Here a kiss, there a bite
Everywhere a kiss-kiss
Old MacDonald had a gay blog
Ee i ee i o

Unlike yesterday's anonymous guestblogger, I'm admittedly a traffic-whore and would like all of you to visit my blog as well. It's not gay-themed, which explains why you haven't heard of it yet. But you have now SO I DEMAND AT LEAST A VISIT.

When I decided to start blogging I was torn between doing a gay-oriented blog or a non-gay blog. After much deliberation I decided to stick to the mainstream and avoid anything plural. I reasoned that I would have more things to write about and allow me to appeal to a wider audience.

I know now that my reasoning was wrong.

Joshua's blog is barely half a year old and it's ratings are already outrunning mine! Pangs of jealousy aside, I understood why. As Daily Planet editor Perry White said, "Three things sell newspapers - sex, scandals, and Superman." I happen to avoid all three topics, which truly explains its lacklustre performance (ranked 344,127 in Technorati).

Now that I'm done with my ranting, I can get on to the real post. After all, it's not fair for guestbloggers to just promote their own blog, right?

---

Derek's latest post had a statement that I really agreed with:

So what is it with straight people who try to act all gay and lovey-dovey and huggy amongst themselves? Though it was quite funny to watch, it was ironic for me as I can't do that because as much as I want to, CF is extremely self-conscious in public and he doesn't allow me to.

Derek, you know you are so RIGHT. And it's not just boyfriends I'm talking about but straight friends as well. For instance, today I saw a friend hug another guy from behind and my mind automatically went, "Damn you breeders! How I wish I could do that to my crush!" Of course, I could do that, but that little voice in my head is telling me that it's wrong. While it's plain horseplay to them, I would be bordering on molestation.

Having been studying away from home for almost 3 years, I have not been able to have a fulfilling relationship yet. And the thing I miss most about having a BF is not the sex (really!), but the touch. Yes, I guess you could argue that they are closely related, but the act of touching does not require the insertion of bodily parts into any orifices.

(Original by Louis Mattarelli)

It's kinda ironic considering how sensitive I am to touch, but I am truly a physical type of person. Spooning the bolster just doesn't give the same effect, you know?

Poll time! Would you get physical (hugging, touching, stroking) with a cute guy you knew was straight?



(If you would like to read increasingly skanky posts during this guestblogging stint, give your vote of confidence!)

Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We?

For those of you who have not noticed the incessant burning of josssticks and paper offerings, and the erection of makeshift stages everywhere - we're already into the seventh Chinese lunar month. That means (according to the old wives), the Gates of Hell are Open (jeng jeng jeng jeng!). This is an especially happy year for those restless souls who get to come to the earthly realm to party (think of it as a ghostly Ibiza, except that they rave to Chinese opera. Or karaoke girls from China as is the fashion these days). That's because this is a Chinese leap year, and in the calendar's own strange way, there are two seventh months this year. It's like an extra long semester break.

On a somewhat unrelated note... Joshua's off gallivanting in... well, wherever he's gone gallivanting to lah. And apparently that means he either cannot come to the net or his hands are way too full to blog.

Come away with me

Nowwaitaminute.

Yes, my darlings. The Guestblogger has arrived at "Quote & UnKuote".

Guestblogging is nothing new, really. I remember when Jay had taken a major step in his relationship by handing his bf "the keys to his blog" to water the feeds and feed the fans.

The recent guestblogging phenomena seems to have started with AJ, when he let a few colourful characters into his blog while he was away. And then Alex followed suit with his flock of masqueraders. Now I get a request from Joshua to put in my two paper ingot's worth here.

Sure, it's an honour to be considered worthy enough not to send his ratings down the drain. And trusted enough not to completely hijack his blog by putting up a horrendous title banner, redirecting his links, or posting naked pics of him in compromising positions (not that my scruples don't allow me to, I just don't have such pics). My only gripe is I haven't been able to find much things to write about in my own blog (maybe I should go on a sabbatical and get other people to write my blog), but here I am with several paragraphs down and still about halfway to go.

(I can hear lots of groaning out there. Just shut up)

But seriously, how lah to write on someone else's blog while remaining true to that person's blog spirit?

Well, how about a quote, for starters? Joshua is always quoting someone or other. This is "Quote & UnKuote", after all.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

Considering I can actually wipe this blog out of existence with a click of a button, I guess it's safe to say I'm having quite a bit of power here. And of course, the accompanying responsibility. Damn you, Uncle Ben! I didn't need to know that!

Now I know Joshua hardly ever talks about that guy he's reportedly been popping cherries with. Thanks to the Uncle Ben Clause, I can't say anything about it either. BUT... I didn't promise I wouldn't sneak in a pic... (shhh... don't tell him)

"I think cute, therefore I am cute"

Yep. I guess that wasn't a surprise to anyone :P

Joshua also enjoys taking pics of delectable delicacies and posting them here. So here's one:

Yummy

See? I've haven't quite strayed from the path of this blog, have I?

OH JOoooOSH... YOU'D BETTER COME BACK SOON!


- The Guestblogger